Figured It Out

Timeshare Presentations Compared: What 4 Actually Cost Me

2026-09-30T00:00:00+00:00

Between April 2024 and January 2026 I did four timeshare presentations: Westgate in Orlando, Hilton Grand Vacations in Orlando, and Capital Vacations twice, in Pigeon Forge and Orlando. Every one of them got me 3 nights for 64% to 97% off the normal price. After the gifts, the cheapest cost $12.61 and the most expensive $200.09. What separated them was how long the pitch ran, how hard they pushed, and what the "gifts" were really worth.

This page puts the four side by side. Each row links to the full write-up with receipts.

The four presentations side by side

	Westgate Lakes, Orlando	Hilton Grand Vacations, Orlando	Capital Vacations, Pigeon Forge	Capital Vacations, Silver Lake Orlando
When	April 2024	August 2024	November 2024	January 2026
Paid for the package	$145.13	$223.88	$399 + $50 deposit	$99 (after a $130 refund) + $50 deposit
Paid at check-in	$0	$0	$51.09 taxes	$113.61 taxes and resort fees
Got back	$50 gift card	25,000 Hilton Honors points (about $150)	$300 AmEx gift card (incl. deposit)	$250 in gift cards (incl. deposit)
Net cost, 3 nights	$95.13	About $75	$200.09	$12.61
Normal price	$725.61	$557.72	$417 before taxes	$392.50
Discount	About 87%	About 87%	64%	About 97%
Length promised / actual	90 min / 2.5-3 hrs	About 2 hrs / over 2 hrs	About 2 hrs / I left at 90 min (105 min on site)	2 hrs / about 2.5 hrs
Sales pressure	Moderate	Highest	Lowest	Low
Extras			Odenza tickets, Air, Sea and Land certificate	Cruise and resort condo vouchers

The Hilton figure counts the points at roughly a penny each, so it's only "about $75" if you'd actually use Hilton points.

Which one fits you

Cheapest stay: Capital Vacations' Orlando package, at $12.61 for 3 nights in a 1-bedroom condo near Disney, but only because a phone rep refunded $130 of the $229 package price. Ask.
Least pressure: Capital Vacations in Pigeon Forge. I set a 90-minute timer, left when it went off, and was off the property in about 105 minutes.
No surprise fees at check-in: Westgate and Hilton Grand Vacations both charged $0 at check-in. Both Capital Vacations stays added taxes (and, in Orlando, resort fees) at the front desk.
Points collectors: Hilton Grand Vacations paid in Honors points instead of cash. It was also the hardest sell of the four: a salesperson, then a manager, then a "corporate" sampler pitch.

Who qualifies (as of September 2026)

All three companies require you to qualify, and all three charge a penalty if you don't or if you leave early. These are from each company's current published terms; your own package's terms are what count.

	Westgate	Hilton Grand Vacations	Capital Vacations
Age	Couples: one partner 25-70, the other 25+. Single women: 28-70	Not published	At least one guest 28+, not a full-time student
Income	$50,000+ household ($60,000 for Las Vegas), FICO 600+	Income and credit requirements, numbers not published	Over $75,000 household, or retired, or a guest 65+
Who must attend	Couples together	Couples together	Spouses or cohabitants together
How often	2 tours per lifetime	Not within a year of your last HGV presentation	Not within 6 months of your last; 3 per lifetime
Penalty	Up to $500 or the rental rate, whichever is greater	Full retail value of the stay, plus taxes and gifts	$600 plus a $150 administrative charge

All three want a government photo ID and a personal major credit card at check-in.

The "gifts" that aren't free

The cash gift cards were straightforward. The travel extras were not:

Air, Sea and Land certificate (Capital Vacations, Pigeon Forge): a discount voucher, not a free trip. Fees at booking run about $210 for two round-trip flights or $302 to $376 for a cruise for two, with blackout dates and no guaranteed dates.
Odenza VIP tickets (Capital Vacations, Pigeon Forge): this one was genuinely good. After getting the $50 deposit back, I paid $20 in shipping for two orchestra seats to Shucked at Atlanta's Fox Theatre, worth about $270.
Cruise and condo vouchers (Capital Vacations, Orlando): I'll cover these in their own post. As with the Air, Sea and Land certificate, read the fee terms before counting them as value.

How to get through the pitch

Set an alarm for the promised length and leave when it goes off. In Pigeon Forge I left at my 90-minute timer and was out in 105 minutes. At Westgate I didn't set one and it ran 2.5 to 3 hours; at Hilton we set one and then ignored it.
Expect more than one pitch. At Westgate and Hilton, the salesperson handed off to a closer or manager, then came a "corporate" sampler offer. Decide your answer before you walk in.
Bring the ID and credit card your terms ask for, and bring your partner if you're a couple. Missing either can trigger the penalty.
Read the package terms before you pay, especially the penalty and how often you're allowed to tour.

Bottom line

If you qualify, can spare two or three hours of a trip, and are comfortable saying no, a timeshare preview is one of the cheapest ways to get a few nights in Orlando or the Smokies. Treat the cash gifts as the real payoff and the travel vouchers as coupons with fees attached.

For the record: I declined at all four, and I'd never buy a timeshare. Saying no is the whole strategy.

Epic Universe EV Charging: Free, 40 Chargers, Very Slow

2026-01-27T00:00:00+00:00

Yes, you can charge your EV at Universal Orlando's Epic Universe, and the charging itself is completely free. There are 40 Level 2 chargers in Prime Parking, you start them with the ChargeUp app, and after 6:00 PM even the parking is free. The catch: on my visit they delivered barely 1 kW, so don't count on leaving with a full battery.

Below is a complete breakdown of how Epic Universe EV charging actually works.

Quick facts
Chargers	40 Level 2 (10 clusters of 4), SAE J1772 plugs
Location	Prime Parking, under a solar panel canopy
Charging cost	Free since May 2025
Parking cost	Prime $50 to $60 per day; free after 6:00 PM
App	ChargeUp (no payment method needed)
Speed I measured	1.1 kW; 4.9 kWh in five hours

How Many Chargers There Are and How Much They Cost

Epic Universe has a surprisingly large EV charging setup. There are 10 clusters of 4 Level 2 chargers for a total of 40 chargers, and all of them are SAE J1772 plugs. If you have a Tesla, you'll need a J1772 to NACS adapter to charge. Sometimes you can even find adapters for under $20 on sale on Amazon. All chargers are under a shaded solar panel awning, which helps keep vehicles cooler while parked. Orlando Informer places them in the covered section of row Viking 301.

As of May 2025, Universal changed the pricing model to completely free. There is no per kWh fee, no session fee, and no transaction fee. Some online sources still mention a $0.50 transaction fee; that comes from a short-lived in-between price of $0.00 per kWh plus a $0.50 transaction fee and 5% of the session cost, reported by RivianTrackr in May 2025.

When I published this in January 2026, the official Universal Orlando website still said, "EV charging is available at Universal Epic Universe in Prime Parking. Subject to availability. Additional fees will apply." That was outdated when it came to charging fees. As of September 2026, Orlando Informer's parking guide (updated August 2026) also lists EV charging as free, with standard parking fees still applying.

Parking Costs and the Free-After-6 PM Trick

All EV chargers are located in Prime Parking, which is the premium parking tier at Epic Universe.

Prime Parking costs $50 to $60 per day depending on the date. If you already purchased regular parking ($32 online or $35 at the gate), you can upgrade to Prime Parking for between $14 and $25.

There is one important workaround. After 6:00 PM, parking at Epic Universe is free, including Prime Parking when I visited. At that point, anyone can drive in and use the chargers without paying anything at all. (Orlando Informer confirms free self-parking for all guests after 6 p.m. as of August 2026.)

I personally arrived at 5:40 PM and was able to politely convince the parking attendant to let me in early so I could scope out the charging situation and get plugged in. This is not guaranteed, but it does not hurt to ask.

How to Start Charging with the ChargeUp App

To use the chargers, you need to download the ChargeUp app and create an account. There are no membership fees and no payment method required, since charging is free. The signup is painless: after the app downloaded, it took me about 1 minute to create an account and actually start charging.

Each charger has clear instructions posted on it. Once you open the app, you simply scan the QR code on the charger to begin your session. The process is straightforward, even for first-time users. Once the light on the charger changes from green to blue, you're good to go!

Actual Charging Speeds and What to Expect

This is where expectations should be set very low.

These chargers are rated for up to 7.6 kW, but real performance is extremely poor. During my visit, the outside temperature was about 54 degrees Fahrenheit. When I arrived at 5:40 PM, only three other cars were charging. When I left later in the evening, there were no other cars charging at all. Despite the lack of load, the ChargeUp app reported that it was only delivering 1.1 kW of power.

For comparison, most home Level 2 chargers deliver between 7 and 11 kW.

This setup is not suitable for meaningful recharging. At best, it offsets a small amount of the range you used getting to the park. After five hours, I had gained just 4.9 kWh total. That is an average charging speed under 1 kW, which is abysmal for Level 2 charging.

Historical Pricing: The $3 per kWh Era

Epic Universe did not always offer free charging. When the park opened in May 2025, charging cost $3 per kWh, which is outrageously high. One EV owner said they were charged $210 for a single session.

Disney Dining reported that this was more than six times the typical Florida public charging rate. Universal quietly reversed it within days of the park's opening.

The shift to free charging is a huge improvement, but the extremely slow speeds suggest this is more of a courtesy feature than a practical charging solution.

Should You Charge at Epic Universe?

If you are already paying for Prime Parking or arrive after 6:00 PM, it is worth plugging in. Just do not expect to leave with a significantly charged battery. At Epic Universe, EV charging is free, plentiful, and very slow.

Capital Vacations Orlando Timeshare Presentation: $4 a Night

2026-01-21T00:00:00+00:00

This Capital Vacations timeshare presentation got me 3 nights at Silver Lake Resort near Disney World for $12.61 net, about $4.20 a night. I paid $262.61 along the way and got $250 back in gift cards. If you're a cost-sensitive traveler who doesn't mind a sales pitch, it's one of the best deals I've found.

I attended on January 17, 2026, during a January 15-18 stay at Silver Lake Resort in Kissimmee, Florida, minutes from Disney's Animal Kingdom. It was my second Capital Vacations preview; the first was in Pigeon Forge in November 2024. I've also done Westgate Lakes and Hilton Grand Vacations in Orlando, and there's a side-by-side comparison at the bottom of this post.

At a glance

	Capital Vacations, Silver Lake Orlando
Stay	January 15-18, 2026 (3 nights), 1-bedroom condo with kitchenette
Presentation	January 17, 2026, 2:00 PM (last session of the day)
Package price	$229, bought December 2024; $130 refunded, so $99
Deposit	$50, returned as a gift card
Paid at check-in	$113.61 in taxes and resort fees, plus a $150 refundable hold
Total paid	$262.61
Gifts	$200 gift card, $50 deposit gift card, 5-day/4-night cruise voucher, 8-day/7-night resort condo voucher
Net cost	$12.61 for 3 nights ($4.20 a night)
Normal price	$392.50 for the same dates (about 97% off)
Presentation length	2 hours required; about 2.5 hours in practice
Sales pressure	Low, but you say no several times

Booking the package

I bought this package in December 2024 for $229, right after my first Capital Vacations presentation. When they called to book dates, I mentioned that I technically needed to wait a bit longer, because I understood Capital Vacations to allow one preview every 12 months. That wasn't an issue at all: they extended my package's expiration by 6 months. That's surprisingly flexible, since their packages normally require travel within 12 months of purchase.

Correction (September 2026): an earlier version of this post stated the 12-month wait as Capital Vacations policy. Their current package terms actually say you can't have toured in the preceding 6 months, with a lifetime cap of 3 presentations.

Then it got better. The phone rep refunded $130 to my credit card, bringing the effective cost of the package down to $99.

When I actually booked the stay in December 2025, I paid a $50 deposit, which they said would come back as a gift card after the presentation.

Who qualifies (as of September 2026)

From Capital Vacations' package terms for packages after September 9, 2025:

At least one guest must be 28 or older and not a full-time student.
Currently employed with a combined household income over $75,000, or fully retired, or at least one guest aged 65 or older.
Spouses or cohabitants attend together; bring a government photo ID and a personal major credit card (no debit cards).
No Capital Vacations tour in the preceding 6 months, and no more than 3 in your lifetime.
Skipping or not qualifying costs $600 plus a $150 administrative charge.

Check-in costs and promised gifts

At check-in I paid $113.61 in taxes and fees: a $20 nightly resort fee plus county hospitality and sales tax. There was also a $150 incidental hold, which was released without issue after checkout. This is the main difference from my Westgate and Hilton previews, where nothing was due at check-in.

The promised gifts were:

$200 gift card
$50 deposit returned as a gift card
5-day, 4-night cruise voucher
8-day, 7-night resort condo stay voucher

The presentation experience

Our presentation was at 2:00 PM, the last session of the day. On arrival they offered boxed lunches: a turkey sandwich or a tuna wrap, plus chips, a cookie, water, and coffee. Nothing fancy, but perfectly fine.

The presentation itself was very standard:

About 40 minutes of slideshow with an energetic, entertaining host
A walkthrough of a model unit
Individual sales discussions with your rep

The pressure was low. They were clearly trying to sell a timeshare, but saying no wasn't difficult. You just had to say it multiple times to multiple people, each with a progressively cheaper offer.

We were contractually required to stay for 2 hours, but the full process took about 2 hours and 30 minutes. Once we declined everything, we were released immediately and given our gifts.

Interestingly, the cruise and resort stay vouchers were emailed to me about an hour into the presentation, before we'd even finished.

Final cost breakdown

Item	Amount
Package after refund	$99.00
Booking deposit	$50.00
Taxes and fees at check-in	$113.61
Total out of pocket	$262.61
Gift cards received	-$250.00
Net cost for 3 nights	$12.61

That's about $4.20 per night at Silver Lake Resort.

Out of curiosity, I priced the same 1-bedroom condo for the same dates on Silver Lake's own booking site: $392.50 including taxes and fees. So we got this vacation for about 97% off... dang.

What about the cruise and condo vouchers?

I'll write a follow-up once I've fully investigated the cruise and resort vouchers, which are run by Odenza. I've already used Odenza's VIP ticket program from my Pigeon Forge preview, and it worked well. For a sense of what "free" cruise and condo certificates can cost to redeem, see my breakdown of the Air, Sea, and Land certificate; it comes from a different company, but the cruise and condo options are similar.

How it compares to my other timeshare presentations

Presentation	When	Net cost after gifts	Length (required / actual)	Sales pressure
Westgate Lakes, Orlando	Apr 2024	$95.13 for 3 nights	90 min / 2.5-3 hrs	Moderate
Hilton Grand Vacations, Orlando	Aug 2024	About $75 for 3 nights, counting points	2 hrs / over 2 hrs	Highest
Capital Vacations, Pigeon Forge	Nov 2024	$200.09 for 3 nights, plus travel vouchers	Left at 90 min / about 105 min on site	Lowest
Capital Vacations, Silver Lake Orlando (this post)	Jan 2026	$12.61 for 3 nights	2 hrs / about 2.5 hrs	Low

For the full side-by-side, including who qualifies and what happens if you don't, see Timeshare presentations compared: what 4 actually cost me.

Summary

Overall, this was a smooth, low-stress experience. Silver Lake Resort was clean, well located, and perfectly fine for an Orlando stay. The sales pitch was manageable, the gifts were delivered as promised, and the math clearly worked in our favor. If you're disciplined, patient, and comfortable saying no, this Capital Vacations preview is absolutely worth considering.

Perdue Wings Weighed: Only 80% of the Label Was Chicken

2025-11-30T00:00:00+00:00

I weighed a pack of Perdue whole chicken wings labeled 2.00 pounds and found only 1.61 pounds of chicken. After trimming off the wing tips, just 1.43 pounds was usable. That turned a $4.99-a-pound sticker price into about $6.98 a pound for the chicken I actually cooked.

When you buy fresh chicken, it's easy to assume the weight on the label is the chicken you're bringing home. Perdue chicken has always felt a bit suspicious to me. Every time I opened a package there seemed to be a huge liquid-filled pad underneath, and I wondered how much of it I was really paying for. So I finally decided to figure it out.

Measurement	Weight	Share of the 2.00 lb label
Label weight	2.00 lb	100%
Unopened package on my scale	2.09 lb
Wings alone	1.61 lb	about 80%
Empty tray and soaked pad	0.48 lb
Wings after trimming the tips	1.43 lb	about 72%

The Sticker Price

I picked up a package of Perdue whole chicken wings at my local Kroger. The label said an even 2.00 pounds at $4.99 a pound, for a total of $9.98.

Before opening anything, I weighed the whole unopened package. The scale read 2.0936 pounds. That made sense, since the tray and packaging add a little weight on top of the labeled amount.

How Much Was Liquid?

Next, I took the wings out of the tray and weighed the chicken by itself: 1.61 pounds of wings. Out of the 2.00 pounds on the label, only about 80% was actually chicken.

Then I weighed the empty tray with its thick absorbent pad: 0.48 pounds of waste. The 0.39 pounds between the label and the chicken, about 20% of what I paid for, went to the pad, the tray and the liquid! (The scale readings were a few hundredths of a pound off from adding up exactly, which was likely just drippings left behind.)

You might expect a small difference, but one fifth of the label weight not being chicken is seriously sus.

Why Is There So Much Liquid in Packaged Chicken?

Part of it can be water the chicken absorbs during processing, such as when it's chilled after slaughter. Under federal labeling rules (9 CFR 441.10), raw poultry that retains water from processing has to say so on the label, with a statement like "up to X% retained water," unless it's under half a percent. It's worth looking for that line on the package before comparing prices per pound.

Trimming the Wings

Then I took it a step further. Whole wings include the tips, which aren't used when cooking standard flats and drumettes. So I trimmed off the tips and weighed what was left: 1.43 pounds of trimmed wings.

WOW. That means only 72% of the weight printed on the label was usable chicken (never mind the weight of the bones!). It was also 89% of the weight of the whole wings before trimming. In other words, 11% of the wing weight was just tips.

The Real Price per Pound

If you pay $9.98 for what ends up being 1.43 pounds of usable wings, the effective price is $6.98 a pound. That's almost $2 a pound more than the sticker price, an increase of about 40%.

Corrected September 2026: an earlier version of this post said $6.97 and 39%. $9.98 / 1.43 works out to $6.98, which is 39.9% more than $4.99.

Most shoppers have a general sense that packaging and trimming affect the final yield, but these numbers are eye-opening. The next time you see a deal on chicken, especially whole wings, remember how much of the listed weight you're actually getting as meat. You might still buy it, but at least you'll know the real value behind the price tag.

If you're hunting for cheaper meat, here's how I find deals in the Kroger clearance and markdown sections. And not every bargain is a bargain: my $7.19-a-pound Utility grade ribeye is proof.

Skip the Waitlist at The Club SEA Lounge (Free QR Trick)

2025-08-17T00:00:00+00:00

When The Club SEA in Concourse A is full, the QR code on the sign at the entrance opens a public waitlist page, and anyone can join it from anywhere. Join it on your way to the airport, and by the time you're through security your name may already be near the top. It's free, and the direct link is below.

If you've flown through Seattle-Tacoma International Airport (SEA-TAC), you know the chaos: packed gates, noisy crowds, long lines. The Club SEA sits in Concourse A, across from gate A11, and opens at 5:00 AM daily (The Club SEA, as of September 2026). Like many lounges in The Club Airport Lounges network, it often runs a waitlist when it's busy. On peak days, that wait can stretch to 45-60 minutes, which defeats the purpose of relaxing before your flight. After all, most travelers don't even arrive at the airport that early.

(If you're not already a Priority Pass member: the Chase Sapphire Reserve includes a complimentary Priority Pass Select membership, good for 1,300+ Priority Pass lounges worldwide, including The Club. As of September 2026 the card's annual fee is $795. The Chase Sapphire Preferred doesn't include lounge access, so it's the Reserve specifically you'd want for this. This is a referral link, and I may earn a bonus if you're approved.)

How the QR Code Waitlist Hack Works

When the lounge is full, staff place a sign at the entrance with a short explanation and a QR code for joining the waitlist. Most people scan this code only after they've reached the door, which means they're already stuck waiting at the airport.

But here's the little-known trick: that QR code leads to a public waitlist link that anyone can open, even before arriving at the airport.

Instead of waiting until you reach Concourse A, you can join the line remotely while you're still on your way to SEA-TAC. By the time you arrive, your name may already be at the top of the list.

Here's the direct link:

Join The Club SEA (A) Waitlist Here

This link is for the Concourse A lounge. SEA also has a second Club lounge on the mezzanine above gate S10 in the S Concourse (Port of Seattle), so make sure the lounge you're headed to is the one in Concourse A.

What to Expect When You Join the Waitlist

If the lounge is crowded, you'll see the waitlist signup and can add your name instantly.
If there's no crowd, the page will simply display: "The waitlist is closed at the moment." In that case, you can walk straight in.
You get 10 minutes to enter the lounge after you've been "called," but staff are often lenient about this and let you in even after the 10 minutes are up.
It's completely free to use. No tricks, no special memberships required beyond your usual lounge access.

Access Rules Worth Knowing

As of September 2026, according to The Club's SEA Concourse A page:

	Details
Priority Pass	Accepted, entry up to 3 hours before departure, space permitting
Day pass	$50 per person
Pre-booking	Must be booked at least 6 hours before departure

The waitlist link doesn't get you in without access. You still need Priority Pass, another accepted membership, or a day pass at the door.

Pro Tip

Bookmark this page now so you're not frantically searching for the link the next time you fly through SEA-TAC. Connecting through Atlanta? The same trick works at The Club ATL.

Airport lounges are meant to reduce stress, not add to it. With this simple trick, you can skip 45-60 minutes of standing around and spend that time where it matters: relaxing inside the lounge before your flight.

Skip the Waitlist at The Club ATL Lounge (Free QR Trick)

2025-08-16T00:00:00+00:00

When The Club at ATL is full, the QR code on the sign at the entrance opens a public waitlist page, and anyone can join it from anywhere. Join it on your way to the airport, and by the time you're through security your name may already be near the top. It's free, and the direct link is below.

If you've flown through Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport (ATL), you know the chaos: packed gates, noisy crowds, long lines. The Club ATL is on the mezzanine level of Concourse F, the international terminal, and it's open daily from 6:00 AM to 10:00 PM (The Club ATL, as of September 2026). Like many lounges in The Club Airport Lounges network, it often runs a waitlist when it's busy. On peak days, that wait can stretch to 45-60 minutes, which defeats the purpose of relaxing before your flight. After all, most travelers don't even arrive at the airport that early.

Priority Pass offers a "Pre-book" option in its app to skip the line, but when I wrote this in August 2025 it cost $9! We can't afford that!

How the QR Code Waitlist Hack Works

But here's the little-known trick: that QR code leads to a public waitlist link that anyone can open, even before arriving at the airport.

Instead of waiting until you reach Concourse F, you can join the line remotely while you're still on your way to ATL. By the time you arrive, your name may already be at the top of the list.

Here's the direct link:

Join The Club ATL Waitlist Here

What to Expect When You Join the Waitlist

If the lounge is crowded, you'll see the waitlist signup and can add your name instantly.
If there's no crowd, the page will simply display: "The waitlist is closed at the moment." In that case, you can walk straight in.
You get 10 minutes to enter the lounge after you've been "called," but staff are often lenient about this and let you in even after the 10 minutes are up.
It's completely free to use. No tricks, no special memberships required beyond your usual lounge access.

Access Rules Worth Knowing

As of September 2026, according to The Club's ATL page:

	Details
Priority Pass	Entry up to 2.5 hours before your scheduled departure, space permitting
Day pass	$50 per person
Pre-booking	Must be booked at least 6 hours before departure

The waitlist link doesn't get you in without access. You still need Priority Pass, another accepted membership, or a day pass at the door.

Pro Tip

Bookmark this page now so you're not frantically searching for the link the next time you fly through ATL. Flying out of Seattle too? The same trick works at The Club SEA.

Absinthe Las Vegas Tickets: Skip the 12% Fee by Phone

2025-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

To save on Absinthe tickets, skip the website and call the box office at (702) 534-3419. In August 2025, two seats in the same row of the same show cost me $376.76 online and $338.00 by phone, because the phone order had no online service fee. No promo code required.

The Absinthe Ticket Trick Vegas Doesn't Advertise

Absinthe is one of those rare Vegas shows that lives up to the hype: raunchy, hilarious, and wildly entertaining. But the price is not so fun. While many shows on the Strip offer frequent discounts and promo codes, Absinthe rarely runs sales, yet still sells out. That's why this simple trick is worth knowing.

The One Thing You Must Do: Call

Here's the hack: call the box office and book over the phone. That's it.

The box office number is (702) 534-3419, or toll-free (888) 966-0404 (Spiegelworld, as of September 2026).

Most people book online, where fees pile on at checkout. When I tried buying two Klappsitz Terrace tickets online for the Saturday, August 9, 2025 11 PM show, the base price was $155.05 each, but with taxes and fees my total came to $376.76. Ouch.

So on August 2, 2025, I picked up the phone, spoke with a helpful rep at the Absinthe box office, and booked the same tickets: same date, same time, same section and row. Just $338 total. That's $38.76 in savings, or 12.5% of the base ticket price, all for dialing a number and talking to a human instead of clicking "Add to Cart."

Here's how the two receipts compare:

Two Klappsitz Terrace tickets, Aug 9, 2025, 11 PM	Online	By phone
Tickets (2 x $155.05)	$310.10	$310.10
Service fees	$37.12	$0.00
LET (Live Entertainment Tax)	$29.54	$27.90
Total	$376.76	$338.00

Why the Fees Disappear

The base price of the tickets doesn't change between booking online and by phone. When you call, you skip the online service fee, which on my order was $37.12, about 12% of the ticket price. You still pay Nevada's Live Entertainment Tax either way. The box office agent confirmed that phone reservations are "straight ticket prices, no added fees unless you upgrade seating."

One caveat for 2026: Spiegelworld now advertises Absinthe tickets "from $135.04 (fees included)," so the website shows the all-in price up front. I haven't re-tested the phone price since August 2025, so get the online total for your seats first, then call and compare before you buy.

Which Absinthe Shows Cost More?

Absinthe doesn't just carry a high base price. It also has tiered pricing depending on when you go. As of September 2026, shows run Sunday through Thursday at 7 and 9 PM, and Friday and Saturday at 7, 9 and 11 PM.

Friday and Saturday nights at 7 PM or 9 PM are more expensive than any other time.
These "peak shows" bump ticket prices up by two tiers compared to other performances.
The 11 PM Friday and Saturday shows are regular price, something to keep in mind if you're flexible.

Here's a breakdown of typical per-ticket prices as shown online (as of August 2025). These online prices already include the service fee, which you skip by calling:

Tier	Normal Show	Peak Show
Ringside	$212.19	$231.43
Gazillionaire's Circle	$192.90	$221.95
Klappsitz Terrace	$173.62	$212.19
Green Fairy Gallery	$195.33	$192.90
Throne Zone	$135.04	$173.62

While prices are steep, the show sells out consistently, so the demand is clearly there. Still, knowing this structure helps you pick a showtime that gives you the most value for your money.

Is It Worth Calling?

Absinthe might be expensive, but it doesn't have to be quite so painful. With this easy phone booking trick, I skipped about 12% in fees and paid $38.76 less for equivalent seats. No promo code, no coupons, just a phone call.

If you're heading to Vegas soon and have Absinthe on your must-see list, take 5 minutes to call the box office. Your wallet will thank you. And if you're a theater fan back home, the Lucky Seat lottery is another way to see big shows for a fraction of the price.

Royal Railway on Utopia of the Seas: Price, Seating, Tips

2025-05-14T00:00:00+00:00

Royal Railway: Utopia Station is a multi-course, train-themed dinner show on Utopia of the Seas. Your "windows" are screens showing scenery rolling by, the seats jolt like a real rail car, and only about 96 guests a night get in. When I wrote this in May 2025 it cost $75 per person plus gratuity; prices have moved around a lot since, so check your sailing in the Cruise Planner. And bring a partner: solo guests can't book.

What Is Royal Railway: Utopia Station?

It's more than a meal; it's a full-sensory trip through time and place. Royal Caribbean describes it as starting with pre-dinner drinks on the station platform before the whistle blows and a multi-course journey carries you to places like America's Wild West.

It starts before you even get there. Your ticket arrives as a beautifully designed commemorative telegram, and the packet alone is a souvenir worth framing.

How Much Does Royal Railway Cost?

Pricing changes by sailing, and pre-cruise prices can differ from onboard prices. Here's what it has cost at different points:

When	Adult	Child	Source
Launch (June 2024)	$119.99	$59.99	Royal Caribbean Blog
May 2025 (when I wrote this)	$75 per person		This post; The Points Guy also reported $75
April 2026 sailing	$107.99	$44.99	Royal Caribbean Blog

Gratuity is extra: Royal Caribbean adds an 18% gratuity to specialty dining. (Here's where Royal Caribbean's gratuities actually go.) If you have the Unlimited Dining Package, Royal Railway isn't fully included: at launch, package holders paid a $49.99 surcharge.

Considering the show, the atmosphere and the food, many guests think it's worth the splurge, especially for a special family evening.

Seating and Booking

Seating is limited and designed to feel intimate. Guests sit at tables for 2 or 4, and solo guests can't book, so you'll need at least one dining partner.

With so few seats each night, it fills up fast. Reserve as soon as dining reservations open for your sailing in the Cruise Planner. Here's the interior seating layout:

What Makes It Unique

Each table has high-resolution screens that act as the train's windows. Throughout the meal you're carried through different places, stories and moments in history, all synced with the courses, lighting and sound. It's a genuinely narrative-driven meal, unlike anything else onboard.

A warning about motion sickness

The moving scenery (and the moving seats) can cause motion discomfort. If you're prone to motion sickness, try to sit closer to the aisle, or ask Guest Services for Dramamine before your reservation. They get this request a lot and usually have it on hand.

Is Royal Railway Worth It?

Royal Railway: Utopia Station is one of those rare cruise experiences that blends storytelling, dining and exclusivity into one evening. From the telegram ticket to the choreographed visuals and food, it's a night you won't forget.

If you're sailing on Utopia of the Seas and want something beyond the usual cruise dinner, put it at the top of your list. Just book early, bring a dining partner, and get ready to be transported, no passport required.

Sailing on Legend of the Seas instead? It has its own version, Royal Railway: Legend Station, which opened for bookings in 2026 at $165 per adult and $110 per child.

Lucky Seat Lottery: Cheap Broadway Tickets From $10

2025-02-09T00:00:00+00:00

Lucky Seat is a free online lottery that sells deeply discounted seats to Broadway tours, New York shows, Cirque du Soleil and more, often for $25 to $59 and sometimes as little as $10. You enter for the dates you can make, and if you win, you buy the tickets and pick them up at the box office. I won row AA orchestra seats to The Lion King at Atlanta's Fox Theatre for $28.50 each.

What Is Lucky Seat?

Lucky Seat: Where fans get lucky.

Lucky Seat is a ticket lottery system that offers deeply discounted tickets for Broadway and other live performances, including musicals, plays, and even ballets. Many people assume it's exclusive to New York City, but most of the offerings are touring shows all over the country. When I checked the list in February 2025, it included shows in:

Atlanta, Sandy Springs, Baltimore, Birmingham, Boston, Chattanooga, Cleveland, Detroit, East Lansing
Fayetteville, Greenville (SC), Houston, Jacksonville, Louisville, Memphis, Miami, New York, Phoenix, Redmond, Rockford, Seattle

The program lets theater lovers enter a drawing for the chance to buy significantly reduced-price tickets, sometimes for less than 20% of the original price!

What Type of Shows Are Available?

The lineup changes as tours move from city to city. In February 2025 it included:

Musicals: Hamilton, The Lion King, SIX, MJ, The Book of Mormon, Moulin Rouge!, Come From Away, Mamma Mia!, Hadestown, Cabaret, Sunset Blvd., Parade, Peter Pan
Plays and comedy: Churchill, Forbidden Broadway
Cirque du Soleil touring shows: ECHO, KOOZA, CRYSTAL
Ballet and special events: Atlanta Ballet's The Rite of Spring, a Hugh Jackman concert, and an Encore Gala celebrating 50 years of A Chorus Line

How Does Lucky Seat Work?

The process is simple, but timing is key:

Enter the Lottery: Enter for free on the Lucky Seat website or their Linktree for any listed show dates. There's no limit to how many shows and showtimes you can enter, so throw your name in for every date that works for you! Drawings stay open until the "entries close" date.
Choose Your Ticket Preferences: Select how many tickets you want (up to two) and whether you need accessible seating.

Wait for the Drawing: Winners are drawn either the week before or the week of the show. For example, the Hamilton entry above had its drawing on Thursday, February 6, 2025 for performances from February 11 to 16. If you win, you'll be notified by email, and you can also check the Lucky Seat Results page in your account.
Purchase Quickly: Winners get a firm deadline to buy by credit card. When I won Clue tickets for a Thursday, January 30, 2025 show, I had to buy by 1:00 PM on January 24. Don't delay!
Pick Up Your Tickets: You must collect your tickets in person at the box office with the same ID you used to enter.

What Are the Odds?

Lucky Seat doesn't publish odds, but here's my real record for Clue at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta: I entered eight performances, two tickets each, and won one.

How Much Do Lucky Seat Tickets Cost?

Each show sets its own lottery price. On the February 2025 list, most were $25 to $59 per ticket, Hamilton was just $10 in several cities, and a few special events cost more (the Hugh Jackman concert was $175). That's a HUGE bargain considering regular prices often start at $60 and go up to $200+ for the same seats.

While seat locations are assigned randomly, they are usually good seats, often in the orchestra or mezzanine sections. In some cases, winners have even scored front-center orchestra seats! However, you don't know the exact location until you pick up your tickets.

Look at my FRONT orchestra Lion King tickets: row AA, orchestra left, at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta on October 8, 2024. They would have been hundreds of dollars, but Lucky Seat had them for $28.50 each, about $30!

A Few Important Rules and Tips

You can't transfer the tickets: Since you have to pick them up in person with your ID, you can't buy them and send someone else to collect them. However, you can pick them up and resell them afterward (though this is frowned upon).
You gotta be flexible: At the end of the day, it's a lottery. If you're on a 2-day trip to NYC, or it's a bucket-list show and you MUST sit front row, you might just want to buy your tickets outright. But if you live in a city where Lucky Seat has offerings, you don't really care where you sit, and you're flexible about what day you attend, sign up for the lottery! You have nothing to lose.
Get to the box office early: Some venues have long pickup lines, and a slow-moving line could mean you risk missing the start of the show.
Check the seat value after pickup: It's fun to compare! Look up your seat location on ticket resale sites afterward to see how much you saved, often 2-3 times what you paid. Knowing how much you saved just makes the show that much better.

Is Lucky Seat Worth It?

Absolutely! If you're flexible and you love live theater but don't want to spend a fortune, Lucky Seat is a fantastic way to see top-tier performances at a fraction of the cost. It's free to enter, and while winning isn't guaranteed, the savings make it well worth trying.

Headed to Las Vegas instead? Here's how I saved about 12% on Absinthe tickets just by calling the box office.

So, if you're looking for an affordable way to experience Broadway magic, enter the Lucky Seat lottery... you just might get lucky! 🎭

KVM Switch Alternative: Switch Two Computers for Under $20

2025-02-02T00:00:00+00:00

You don't need a KVM switch to share one keyboard, mouse and set of monitors between two computers. I use a USB switch that costs under $20 for my peripherals and let my monitors switch inputs on their own. When I wrote this in early 2025, the setup had been running daily for four years and had saved me hundreds of dollars.

If you work from home or have a dual-computer setup, you've probably run into this problem: how do you switch all your peripherals and monitors between two machines without the hassle?

Most people assume the answer is a KVM (Keyboard, Video, Mouse) switch, but a decent one with dual-monitor support can cost over $100. There are some cheaper Temu-grade models, but those often support only one monitor.

Here's the cheaper way.

Step 1: A Simple USB Switch for Your Peripherals

The trick is to separate your USB peripherals from your monitors and handle them independently.

Instead of a full KVM switch, I use a USB switch. It's a tiny, simple box that lets me toggle which computer gets my peripherals at the press of a button.

The USB switch I use supports four USB devices. I've got these plugged into it:

✅ Keyboard
✅ Mouse
✅ Webcam
✅ USB speaker

Press the button and it instantly swaps all four to the other computer. For less than $20.

Step 2: Let Your Monitors Switch Themselves

You might be wondering, "But what about my dual monitors? Don't I need a KVM switch for that?"

Nope. Most modern monitors already have automatic input switching built in. (It's worth double-checking that yours does, especially if it's older.) Your monitor almost certainly has more than one input, whether that's HDMI, a couple of DisplayPorts, or even VGA or DVI.

Connect both computers to each monitor, using different ports.
When you want to switch computers, put the one you're not using to sleep.
The monitors automatically detect the live input and switch over.

No extra hardware. No fumbling with monitor buttons. Just seamless switching.

USB Switch vs KVM Switch

	Dual-monitor KVM switch	USB switch + monitor inputs
Cost	$100+	Under $20
Video path	Through the KVM	Each monitor plugged straight into each computer
How you switch	One button	USB button, then sleep the other computer
What to check first	Supported resolution and refresh rate	Monitor has auto input switching (or use its input button)

Cheaper: A KVM switch with dual-monitor support costs $100+, while my USB switch is under $20.
More reliable: KVM switches can introduce compatibility issues, lag or quirks with high-resolution monitors. My setup avoids that entirely, because each monitor connects directly to each computer.
Long-lasting: My USB switch has outlasted multiple peripherals over four years without a hitch.

The Bottom Line

If you need a simple, cheap way to switch between two computers, don't spend money on a KVM switch:

✅ Use a USB switch for your keyboard, mouse and other peripherals.
✅ Let your monitors auto-switch inputs when one computer sleeps.

This setup saves you over $100, and after four years of daily use I'd never go back to a traditional KVM switch.

If you're cutting tech costs, you can also negotiate your internet bill down with one phone call.

Pop Tabs for Ronald McDonald House: What Are They Worth?

2025-01-28T00:00:00+00:00

Pop tabs are worth almost nothing as a fundraiser. One Ronald McDonald House chapter quotes about 25 to 30 cents per pound of tabs, and a pound is about 1,267 tabs, so a million tabs raises only around $200 to $240. That's not a knock on the program, though. Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHC) says itself that it's about teaching kids philanthropy and recycling, and in that sense it works.

If you grew up in the U.S., you probably collected pop tabs for RMHC. Schools, churches and community groups have long encouraged kids to save those little aluminum tabs from soda cans, believing they provided significant financial support for families in need. There were pop tab drives, contests and collection boxes all across the country, and the program definitely still exists today. (Though you could literally just buy tabs on Amazon: a bag of 6,000 pop tabs.)

Does Ronald McDonald House Still Collect Pop Tabs?

Yes. Some Ronald McDonald Houses still collect and recycle aluminum pop tabs. According to the RMHC website:

"Some of our Chapters raise thousands of dollars with their pop tab collections each year."

RMHC suggests asking your local chapter whether it runs a pop tab program.

So what happens to the tabs? Chapters sell them to scrap recyclers for cash. Ronald McDonald House Chicagoland & Northwest Indiana, for example, sells its tabs to United Scrap Metal, which buys them at market rate and adds an extra charitable contribution.

How Much Are Pop Tabs Worth?

Sounds great, right? Here's the math:

1 pound of pop tabs is worth about 25 to 30 cents in scrap, according to RMHC of Southern Colorado.
There are about 1,267 tabs per pound (RMHC of Memphis).
That means a single pop tab is worth about $0.0002.
At 25 cents a pound, it takes 51 tabs to equal one cent.

Pop tabs	Weight	Value at $0.25-$0.30/lb
1,267	1 lb	$0.25-$0.30
100,000	~79 lb	~$20-$24
1,000,000	~790 lb	~$197-$237

So if you collected one million tabs, you'd have about 790 pounds of aluminum worth roughly $200. Even at a higher scrap price, Snopes puts a million tabs at about $366. Clearly, pop tabs are not an efficient way to raise money. What gives?!

Wouldn't It Be Better to Collect Whole Cans?

You're right, you smart cookie. Here's that math:

There are about 32 empty cans per pound, so a tab is only about 2.5% of a can's aluminum.
Despite the rumor, the tab isn't "purer" or more valuable. It's an aluminum alloy just like the rest of the can, only a slightly different type, and it's worth no more per pound.
That makes a whole can worth about 40 times as much as its tab.

So Why Collect Just the Pop Tabs?

If the fundraising impact is so small, why does RMHC keep promoting pop tab collections? Because the program was never really about the money. It's about teaching kids the value of charity and recycling. RMHC says so itself: collecting pop tabs is "a great way to teach kids about philanthropy and the importance of recycling."

Here's why the tradition persists:

Pop tabs are small and easy to collect. Kids might not be able to haul bags of empty cans to a donation center, but they can collect and donate small, clean pop tabs.
It teaches philanthropy at a young age. Collecting and donating introduces kids to charitable giving in a way that's accessible and tangible.
It encourages recycling. Even if the dollars are small, the program reinforces the idea that recycling has value.
It builds awareness for RMHC. When schools and groups take part, they spread the word about the Ronald McDonald House mission: helping families with seriously ill children stay near the hospitals treating them.

Wouldn't It Be Better to Donate Cash?

Absolutely. If raising money is the goal, donating a couple of cents per person would beat a pile of tabs. But that's not the point of the pop tab collection.

The program exists to get kids involved, make philanthropy feel achievable and spread awareness. By that measure, pop tab collection is a great success, even if the dollar amounts are tiny.

The Bottom Line

Yes, collecting pop tabs for Ronald McDonald House Charities technically raises money, but the financial impact is incredibly small. It's a token effort and was never meant to be an efficient way to recycle or fundraise. What matters is that it gets young people thinking about giving back and taking care of the environment.

So if you have a stash of pop tabs, by all means, donate them! Just don't expect them to fund a hospital wing. The real value isn't in the aluminum, it's in the lesson.

If you like this kind of "what's it actually worth" math, I did the same thing by weighing a pack of Perdue chicken wings to see how much of the label weight was really chicken.

Does Shoe Carnival Price Match? Yes, Here's How

2025-01-21T00:00:00+00:00

Yes, Shoe Carnival price matches. Search online and you'll find plenty of sites saying it doesn't, but as of September 2026 Shoe Carnival has an official Lowest Price Guarantee: find a lower price on an item in store and it'll match it plus give you a $10 reward. The big catch is that the official policy excludes online marketplaces like Amazon and Zappos.

I found that out the fun way. In January 2025, my local store matched an Amazon price and knocked $10 off my sneakers, no questions asked.

Shoe Carnival's Price Match Policy (2026)

Here are the official terms as of September 2026:

Rule	Details
Where	In store only
What qualifies	Single pair pricing on in-stock styles
Proof	Show the competitor's price; it must be at least $1.00 lower
Bonus	A $10 reward on top of the match
Limit	1 reward per person, per day
Excluded	Clearance pricing, coupons, Buy One Get One offers, member-only pricing, online marketplaces (such as Amazon, Zappos and Walmart Marketplace) and third-party resellers

When I first wrote this in January 2025, Shoe Carnival didn't publish a universal price-match policy, which is probably why so many sites still say it doesn't price match. Back then, it varied by store: some locations didn't price match at all, while mine did so willingly.

How My Store Matched an Amazon Price

I went to Shoe Carnival to buy a pair of sneakers. The in-store price was $65, but I remembered seeing the same shoes for $55 on Amazon. I didn't want to pay more, and I was about to leave when I decided to ask the manager:

"Do you guys price match?"

To my surprise, the manager said, "Yes! We can price match any large retailer up to 20% off."

He explained that they could match major competitors, including Amazon, Foot Locker, DSW Designer Shoe Warehouse, Shoe Dept and Zappos. I pulled up the Amazon listing on my phone, showed it at the register, and just like that, they knocked $10 off with no questions asked.

Keep in mind that was one manager's call in early 2025. Today the official terms exclude Amazon and Zappos, so a match against them is up to the store. Foot Locker and DSW aren't marketplaces, so they're a safer bet.

How to Get a Price Match at Shoe Carnival

Do your homework. Before you go, check prices at competitors like Foot Locker and DSW. (Amazon and Zappos are officially excluded, but you can still ask.)
Make sure it qualifies. It needs to be the same in-stock style, single-pair pricing, and at least $1.00 cheaper. Clearance and BOGO prices don't count.
Ask at the store. Politely ask an associate or manager and explain what you found.
Have proof ready. Pull up the competitor's listing on your phone to show at the register.
Ask about the $10 reward. The current guarantee adds a $10 reward on top of the match, limited to one per person per day.

Other Shoe Carnival Discounts

Price matching isn't the only way to save. Here's what's available as of September 2026:

Discount	Available?	Details
Military	Yes	10% off, online only, verified through SheerID in your Shoe Perks account
Student	Yes	10% off, online only, same verification
Teacher	Yes	10% off, online only, same verification (there wasn't one when I first wrote this in January 2025)
Birthday	Yes	$5 for Shoe Perks members, $10 plus 50 points for Gold members, valid 30 days
Coupons	Yes	Check the website or sign up for Shoe Perks emails
Senior	No	None that I know of
Frontline worker	No	None that I know of

If you qualify for any of these, mention it at checkout.

The Bottom Line

Asking about price matching paid off for me: one quick question saved $10, and now Shoe Carnival makes it official with a $10 reward on top. Just know the official rules exclude Amazon and Zappos, and that military, student and teacher discounts only work online.

Next time you're at Shoe Carnival, ask: "Do you price match?" The same "just ask" approach also got me a cheaper internet bill when I called Spectrum and asked for my promo rate back.

Why iMessage Works on Cruise Ship Wi-Fi Without Paying

2025-01-17T00:00:00+00:00

Text-only iMessages usually work on a cruise ship's free Wi-Fi, even without an internet package, and so do push notifications from random apps. The reason: the ship has to let Apple's push notification traffic through so its own app works, and iMessage text travels over that same channel. Photos and videos don't make it, because they take a different route.

Here's the background. Cruise lines want every guest on their app, which is essential for navigating life onboard. To make that possible, they give everyone free access to a limited version of their Wi-Fi network, allowing only the servers and services the app needs. Everything else is blocked unless you pay for a full internet package or use this trick for ~nearly~ free Wi-Fi.

Why iMessage Works

When you send a message through iMessage, your device connects to Apple's servers. For reasons we'll explore, cruise lines have chosen to allow traffic to and from these Apple servers so that their app works seamlessly.

Push notifications come through because they use the same protocol that the cruise line app's notifications need. However, tapping a notification to open an app or website doesn't work, because that requires full internet access.
Text-only iMessages work because they are small enough to be delivered through the same allowed push notification channel.
Images and videos don't work because iMessage doesn't send them through the push channel at all. It uploads them to iCloud, and the ship's firewall blocks that upload.

Long Story Short

If cruise lines want push notifications on their own app, they have to allow push notifications for ALL apps, and a text iMessage looks and acts the same as a push notification.

Getting a Bit More Technical

At its core, this behavior is all about how the ship's network filters traffic. The cruise line's Wi-Fi network is designed to allow only the specific types of data their app needs, like the notification service. They achieve this by setting rules for what data can and cannot pass through the network.

Granular Firewall Filtering The cruise line wants to allow only the packets required for their app to work. These rules are written at the level of the TCP/IP protocols, which govern how data packets are sent and received and which ports can be used.
Data Packets and Ports Internet traffic is broken down into tiny chunks called packets, which travel through specific "ports," the channels data uses to communicate. For example:
- Web browsing typically uses TCP ports 80 (HTTP) and 443 (HTTPS). (source)
- Apple devices use TCP port 5223 to communicate with the Apple Push Notification service (APNs). (source)
- The APNs connection is a persistent, two-way TCP connection, so you can't block outgoing messages without breaking the protocol. (source)
APNs Server IPs Apple's APNs servers use load balancing, so devices don't always connect to the same public IP address for the notification service. That's why Apple tells network administrators to allow access on the entire 17.0.0.0/8 address block, which is assigned to Apple. (source)
Why iMessage Slips Through iMessage is delivered through APNs. According to Apple's Platform Security guide, each encrypted message is "dispatched to the APNs for delivery." Since cruise lines cannot block APNs without disrupting the push notifications their own app depends on, iMessage texts slip through too.
Why Photos and Videos Don't The same Apple guide explains that APNs can only relay messages up to 4 or 16 KB, depending on the iOS version. Anything larger, like a photo or video, is encrypted and uploaded to iCloud, and only a small pointer to it is sent through APNs. That iCloud upload is ordinary internet traffic, which the free ship network blocks.
Apple Requires App Notifications to Go Through Apple You might be thinking, "why doesn't the app just send notifications without involving Apple?" The reason is simple: on iPhone, apps send push notifications through Apple's servers. That gives Apple full control and insight into what, when, and how many notifications each app sends.

Why Cruise Lines Allow This Traffic (Maybe Accidentally)

Cruise lines likely didn't intend to let iMessage work without payment, but here's why it happens:

They need communication for their own app to be reliable. The same rules that let their app send and receive push notifications from Apple's servers also happen to carry iMessage's encrypted text messages.
Blocking all Apple services would disrupt important app functionality and notifications.
Since iPhone app notifications have to go through APNs, cruise lines can't selectively block these packets without affecting their own app. From the network's side, an app notification and an iMessage packet look the same!

The result? You get partial connectivity, like iMessage texts, without paying. Amazing.

If you want full Wi-Fi without paying full price, there's another option worth exploring. I explain how to use a $30 portable travel router (Amazon) to share a single Wi-Fi package among multiple devices, potentially saving hundreds of dollars: How to Save on Cruise Ship Wi-Fi with a Travel Router.

GL.iNet GL-MT300N-V2 ("Mango") Travel Router

Can Cruise Lines Fix This?

In theory, cruise lines could fine-tune their network rules to block iMessage specifically. However, doing so would require much more sophisticated filtering and could cause unintended disruptions, especially to their own app's notifications. For now, the limited access seems to be an accidental byproduct of making sure their app works as intended. Because it isn't an official feature, though, it can change on any ship at any time.

What About Carnival?

A lot of people land here searching for Carnival. I've only tested this on Royal Caribbean, so I can't tell you whether text-only iMessages slip through Carnival's free Wi-Fi the same way.

Here's what Carnival itself publishes, as of September 2026: its cheapest plan, the Social Wi-Fi Plan, starts at $20.40 per person per day when bought before the cruise. It covers apps like Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat, TikTok and X, and excludes email, video and music streaming, Wi-Fi calling and FaceTime. Carnival's description doesn't mention iMessage either way, so if keeping in touch is the goal, WhatsApp is the messaging app that plan explicitly covers.

If you try the free iMessage trick on a Carnival ship, tell me whether it worked and I'll add it here.

The Bottom Line

The quirky behavior of cruise ship Wi-Fi comes from how carefully the ship controls data traffic. The goal is free access to the cruise line's app and nothing else. But the same rules that make the app work also let some communication, like iMessage texts, slip through.

This isn't a loophole for free internet (yet!), but it's a neat little perk that keeps you minimally connected at sea. Just don't expect to stream Netflix or send selfies without paying for the full Wi-Fi package!

Flowboard Buying Guide for FlowRider Beginners (2026 Prices)

2025-01-12T00:00:00+00:00

If you're buying your first flowboard, get a longer board (40-43 inches) with channels and flat or rounded rails. That combination is the most stable and forgiving while you learn. As of September 2026, new boards cost about $260 to $470 before shipping, and most makers outside the official Flowrider shop build to order.

Below: what each feature actually does, which setup fits your riding style, and a side-by-side comparison of seven flowboard makers.

Quick Picks by Riding Style

You want	Length	Look for
Stability while learning	40-43+ in	Channels, flat or rounded rails, heavier build
Tricks and spins	36-39 in	Lighter build, sharp rails, little or no side cut
Fast rail-to-rail turns	Any	Side cut, concave rails

What to Look for in a Flowboard

Length

Length has the biggest effect on how a board rides:

Shorter boards (36-39 inches): Agile and responsive. Ideal for tricks, spins and quick turns. Less stable but more maneuverable.
Longer boards (40-43+ inches): Better hold in turns and a bigger landing area for aerial tricks. More stable, so they suit beginners and riders who want control.

Weight

Lighter boards: Easier for tricks and spins. Often made with fiberglass or other advanced cores.
Heavier boards (e.g., wood): More stable with more hold in turns. Less responsive, but great for smooth, controlled riding.

Materials

Wood: Flexible and budget-friendly, but heavier and needs more care to avoid water damage.
Fiberglass/composite: Light, durable and low maintenance, with advanced cores and multiple fiberglass layers for better performance.

Side cut

Side cut means the middle of the board is slightly narrower than the ends, an hourglass shape borrowed from snowboarding. Boards without side cut are widest in the middle. Boards with side cut respond very quickly and move fast from side to side, or rail to rail.

Advantages: More responsive, faster rail-to-rail transitions and quicker turns.

Channels

Channels are grooves on the bottom of the board. Water flows through them and the board tracks a bit more, so it feels more controlled and gets better traction in turns.

Rails

Rails are the sides of the board, the part that holds the board in the water during turns. Some boards have concave rails.

Concave rails

Pros:
- Better foot grip and control by giving your feet a natural position.
- More stable during tricks and aerials because your feet lock in.
- Help with rail-to-rail transitions, so the board feels more responsive in turns.
Cons:
- Less forgiving for beginners; the locked-in feel limits movement if your feet aren't placed right.
- Often more expensive because the design is more complex.

Flat or rounded rails

Pros:
- Smoother, more forgiving ride, ideal for beginners.
- More freedom to place your feet and adjust your stance.
- Usually simpler and cheaper.
Cons:
- Less grip and control than concave rails, especially during tricks.
- Can feel less responsive in sharp turns and rail-to-rail transitions.

Where to Buy a Flowboard: 7 Makers Compared

Prices were checked on each maker's site in September 2026. Shipping, lead time and return details are from my original research in January 2025, so confirm them before you order.

Brand	Price (Sept 2026)	Length (in)	Made to order?	Links
Flowrider (official)	$459-$469	39-43	No, standard designs only; low stock	Website, Instagram
Wave Up	$299 sale ($400 list)	36-41	Yes, 15-60 days; also 20-30 boards in stock	Website, Instagram
Mak Flowboards	$420	36-41	Yes, all boards, 30-60 days	Website, Instagram
AquaFlow	$380-$450	38-42	Yes, all boards; custom image +$100	Website, Instagram
Wreath Brand	$310	43.5	Yes, about 2 weeks	Website, Instagram
World Class	$260	39	No info	Website, Instagram
Bushido Flow	$520 (Jan 2025)	37-40	No	Website offline as of Sept 2026; Instagram

Shipping, returns and warranty

Brand	Shipping cost	Shipping speed	Returns/warranty	Notes
Flowrider	$30	UPS Ground	15-day returns, 30 days for defects
Wave Up	$80	10-15 days	No returns; they'll send you a bottle of glue	China-based seller
Mak Flowboards	$42 domestic / $100 intl	USPS Priority	No returns or warranty
AquaFlow	$10 domestic	USPS Priority	No returns, 1-year warranty	Local pickup available
Wreath Brand	$59 domestic / $150 intl	4 days / 7-10 days intl	"Call us, we will make it right"
World Class	$35 domestic / $100 intl	No info	No info	Instagram inactive since about 2018
Bushido Flow	$7 domestic	No info	No info	Instagram inactive since about 2022

Budget pick: World Class ($260) or Wave Up on sale ($299), though Wave Up's $80 shipping and no-returns policy eat into the savings. Fastest custom board: Wreath Brand, about 2 weeks. Easiest returns: the official Flowrider shop.

Customization Options

Most non-OEM (non-Flowrider) makers build boards to order, so you can choose the design, size and other features:

Graphics: Add personal images or logos (AquaFlow charged $100 for this in January 2025).
Board shape: Adjust length, width, side cut and channels.
Lead time: Custom boards typically take 2 weeks to 2 months, depending on the maker and the season.

Flowboard Maintenance Tips

Wood boards: Dry them thoroughly after every session to prevent water damage.
Fiberglass boards: Check for cracks or delamination, especially after heavy use.
Storage: Keep your board somewhere cool and dry to avoid warping.

Ready to Ride

Whether you care most about budget, performance or customization, there's a flowboard that fits your riding style. Once you have one, avoid wasting your time on the ship: here's why Mixed Wave sessions are the worst time to ride the FlowRider.

Any suggestions, tips or updates? Contact us!

Orb.co Free 7-Night Resort Stay: What It Really Costs

2025-01-06T00:00:00+00:00

Orb.co's "complimentary 7-night resort stay" is real, but it isn't free. You buy $139 of wall art, get a voucher, and then pay the resort's taxes and fees, which on the sample bookings below added $384 to $973 for a week. It can still be a decent discount, especially in Orlando, Las Vegas or the Caribbean, as long as you go in expecting to pay.

You may have seen Orb.co's Instagram ads: "Get a complimentary 7-night resort stay with a wall art order of just $139!" It sounds too good to be true, and you've always been taught that if it's too good to be true, it probably is. But maybe this is the real deal? Here's a closer look at Orb.co's business model, the promises they make, and whether you should take the bait.

What Is Orb.co?

At first glance, Orb.co looks like an online art shop selling wall decor. But the real hook isn't the art, it's the travel voucher that comes with it. With a $139 purchase, Orb.co says you get access to hundreds of participating resorts. The company pitches it as a win-win: resorts fill rooms that would otherwise sit empty, and you get a heavily discounted vacation. Their promo video boasts that they've given away over 10,000 travel vouchers and that the average savings are about $900 on a 7-night stay.

As of September 2026, Orb.co's site still advertises a 7-night resort stay where you "only pay the taxes & fees" when you spend $139 on wall art, and promises no timeshare pitch, no expiration, and a 60-day money-back guarantee. The deal covers your stay but not airfare, food, or the resort's taxes and fees. Orb.co says those fees typically run $40 to $75 per night, which is still well below the standard rates for these resorts.

How Does It Work?

You join Orb.co's waitlist by texting a provided number, and you get alerts when new travel vouchers become available. When a voucher is released, you're prompted to buy wall art or a gift card for $139. After your purchase, you receive a travel voucher by email, which unlocks the resort booking system.

The Reality of "Complimentary"

Orb.co markets its offers as complimentary vacations, but here's where things get murky.

What Real Bookings Cost

These are booking summaries for 7-night stays (check-in dates in fall 2022) through the Orb.co system:

Resort (7 nights)	Taxes and fees	Upgrade fees	Due at booking	Total with $139 art
The Ocean at Taino Beach, Bahamas (studio)	$383.90	$0.00	$383.90	$522.90
Legacy Vacation Club Orlando - Oaks (2 bedroom)	$428.47	$7.26	$435.73	$574.73
Tahiti Vacation Club, Las Vegas (1 bedroom)	$439.53	$103.40	$542.93	$681.93
Kona Islander, Hawaii (studio, no kitchen)	$477.68	$495.49	$973.17	$1,112.17

Taxes and Fees

While the nightly rate is covered, fees add up. On these bookings, taxes and fees alone ran $54.84 to $68.24 per night. The Bahamas trip, for instance, cost $383.90 in taxes for seven nights: still cheaper than the full price, but far from "free."

Mandatory Surcharges

Beyond taxes, some resorts tack on extra fees at check-in. The Bahamas resort above listed a mandatory utility surcharge of $90 to $360 per week, based on unit size, plus a $100 mandatory security deposit.

Upgrade Costs

Many resorts reserve the most desirable dates and locations for upgrade fees. Hawaiian resorts often have upgrade fees of $50 to $198 per night on top of the taxes and fees. The Kona Islander example above had $70.78 per night in upgrade fees, bringing a basic studio to $973.17, or over $1,100 after the original $139 purchase.

Availability

Some destinations, like Hawaii, may have limited or no "free" weeks available, leaving you to pay higher upgrade costs to secure a booking.

However, Orb.co IS upfront about this before you buy. Their disclaimer says Hawaii and coastal Florida typically only have resorts with upgrade fees, with Hawaii starting at about $150 per night for taxes, fees and upgrades.

Even when you go to redeem your voucher, there's another big disclaimer on the Hawaii page, presumably for confused customers who missed the first one.

Is Orb.co Worth It?

Orb.co's model isn't a scam! However, it's essential to manage your expectations. Nothing is free, and the taxes and fees add up quickly.

Flexibility is key: To find a deal, you'll need to be open to less popular travel dates.
These are timeshare rooms: The best availability and offers are likely in destinations with lots of timeshare resorts, such as Orlando or Las Vegas. (If you're curious what the other way of getting a cheap timeshare stay looks like, here's my Westgate timeshare presentation in Orlando.)
Hawaii and premium locations: Options exist, but fees and upgrades often erode the savings Orb.co advertises.
International destinations: Some international resorts may offer more value, as long as you're okay with taxes and surcharges.

For example:

The Orlando 2-bedroom came to $435.73, plus any resort fees. That's still a decent discount, but far from complimentary.
The Hawaiian studio climbed to over $1,100 once all fees were counted, including the initial $139 purchase.
The Las Vegas 1-bedroom averaged just under $100 per night, including the $139.

Should You Try It?

If you're willing to navigate the fine print, Orb.co can offer real savings on certain vacations. It's just not the "complimentary" vacation the ads suggest. Think of it as a discounted travel club with an upfront cost. It's also a lot more transparent than the "free trip" webinar pitches like Aloha Hawaii Tours.

For seasoned travelers with flexibility and a sharp eye for value, it might be worth exploring. But if you're expecting a no-strings-attached luxury getaway, you'll likely be disappointed.

Before you click that "Buy" button, weigh the actual costs and read the fine print. Your dream vacation could still come with a hefty bill.

Aloha Hawaii Tours Zoom Webinar Exposed: The Fine Print

2025-01-05T00:00:00+00:00

The Aloha Hawaii Tours "Zoom Travel Webinar" is not a free vacation with no strings attached. The emails promise a cruise or hotel stay just for attending a 45-minute webinar, but customer complaints and local news reports describe a sales pitch for travel club memberships, contracts that are hard to cancel, and "free" trips that come with fees. As of September 2026, the company's BBB profile shows 227 complaints closed in the last three years.

Aloha Hawaii Tours, also known as Aloha Hawaii Tours & Travel, may operate a legitimate tour sales business. Alongside that, they offer webinars with promised rewards like free cruises, Hawaiian vacations, and hotel getaways.

What the Invitation Email Promises

I got one of these invites myself. It claims:

It's "NOT a timeshare presentation," with no pressure, no purchases and no obligations
Complete the 45-minute webinar and choose a reward: a 5-day/4-night cruise to Mexico or The Bahamas, a 6-day/5-night Hawaiian hotel stay for two adults, or a 4-day/3-night hotel getaway in one of 35 U.S. locations
An extra $100 reward voucher if you attend on a laptop, desktop, tablet or iPad
A travel certificate "good for two adults," valid for up to 24 months, with no blackout dates

The email pushes you to book a slot right away, and it came from a domain (travelaht.com) that doesn't load a working website. That was still true when I checked again in September 2026. For many unsuspecting travelers, this could be the beginning of a frustrating and costly experience.

What Customers Report: Complaints and Concerns

Digging into Aloha Hawaii Tours turns up a pattern of customer complaints and questionable business practices. Here's what I found:

Expensive Memberships
- Customers report attending the webinars and being talked into paying hundreds or even thousands of dollars for "travel club memberships" with promises of deep discounts.
- Reported costs include $199 up front plus ongoing payments, with some contracts as high as $3,600.
- After paying, many say the promised discounts were nonexistent or negligible compared to free booking platforms like Expedia or Priceline.
Contracts That Are Hard to Cancel
- Customers who regret signing during a webinar describe being locked into agreements they cannot cancel.
- One customer, after signing a $3,600 contract, said they discovered hidden fees and blackout dates for the supposed "free gifts" and were refused a refund.
- KITV4 reported in August 2022 on a visitor who paid $199 for a membership after a Zoom webinar, then found she was locked into an 18-month contract totaling over $2,000. She said the company promised to beat Priceline's prices but offered the same rates, and that she couldn't reach anyone to cancel. A company manager told KITV that representatives explain contract terms up front.
"Free" Rewards That Aren't Free
- Despite the promise of free rewards, many report being hit with taxes, fees, or deposits for these "gifts."
- Example: a "free" hotel stay can end up costing $300 or more once the charges revealed after signing are added.
BBB Record
- When I first wrote this in January 2025, the company's BBB profile listed 167 complaints and a B- rating.
- As of September 2026, the profile shows 227 complaints closed in the last three years, 708 customer reviews, no letter grade ("Not Rated"), and no BBB accreditation.
A Web of Related Companies
- The BBB profile listed a long list of related businesses, which adds to the confusion around who you're actually dealing with:
  - Vacation Breeze LLC
  - Worldwide Travel Experts, LLC
  - World Discovered Pacific, LLC
  - Hawaii Tour Experts, LLC
  - Diamond Head Luau
  - Aloha Hawaii Rentals LLC
  - Waikiki Segway, LLC
  - Alii Club LLC
  - Preferred Holdings LLC
  - Platinum Marketing Group, LLC

Why This Matters

Programs like this thrive on the allure of "exclusive" travel deals and travelers' dreams of affordable luxury. Based on what customers report:

The discounts are marginal at best, often beaten by free travel booking sites.
The "free gifts" come with so many restrictions that they're hardly worth pursuing.
The contracts lock customers into long-term payments with no easy way out.

How to Protect Yourself

Here's how to avoid getting caught by offers like this:

Research Before You Commit
Look up the company's BBB profile and customer reviews. A slew of complaints is a major red flag.
Beware of "No-Strings-Attached" Promises
Always question deals that sound too good to be true. Free gifts often come with hidden fees or obligations. The same goes for Orb.co's "free" resort stays with a wall art purchase and timeshare presentation travel packages.
Avoid High-Pressure Tactics
Never feel rushed to sign a contract during a webinar or presentation. Take your time to review the fine print.
Stick to Trusted Travel Sites
Platforms like Expedia, Priceline, and Kayak offer transparent pricing without membership fees.

Is Aloha Hawaii Tours Worth It?

The pitch may sound like a dream come true, but the reports tell a different story. Customers describe misleading claims, hidden costs, and contracts they couldn't get out of. Before you commit to any travel program, do your due diligence so your dream vacation doesn't turn into a nightmare.

Should You Tip Cruise Terminal Porters? Rethinking It

2025-01-04T00:00:00+00:00

The custom is to tip cruise terminal porters $1-$2 per bag, but you don't have to. Porters tag your bags and put them on a cart, often while earning a union hourly wage. The heavy lifting, getting hundreds of bags through the ship and to your cabin door, is done by the ship's crew, who never see that tip.

Here's what porters actually do, how they're paid, and why the tipping custom feels out of date.

What Do Cruise Porters Actually Do?

A porter's job is far less involved than most people think:

Collect your luggage at the curb or a drop-off area.
Check or attach your luggage tags.
Load your bags onto a cart.

From there, the cart goes through security and onto the ship, where crew members, often housekeeping or dedicated luggage crew, take over. They sort, move and deliver the bags to your cabin, and they get no tip or recognition for it.

In other words, porters handle the first and easiest step of luggage handling but collect the tips.

Why Tipping Porters Feels Outdated

Tipping porters made more sense when the job meant carrying bags long distances by hand. Today the process is streamlined. Here's why many travelers are rethinking it:

Minimal work. Porters don't carry your luggage far or up stairs. They put bags on a cart. Ship crew, meanwhile, navigate narrow hallways and deliver hundreds of bags to cabins.
You've already paid for it. Luggage handling is part of the service you buy with your cruise fare, so a tip on top feels like paying twice. Cruise lines are profitable enough to pay porters properly without relying on passengers.
Porters are often union workers on an hourly wage. Many porters at U.S. cruise terminals are longshoremen represented by the International Longshoremen's Association (ILA). Under the ILA master contract ratified in February 2025, base pay rises from $39 an hour to $63 an hour by 2030 (newer workers start lower on the scale). Compare that to ship crew: a leaked Royal Caribbean bar server contract guarantees $1,377 a month for 303.1 hours, about $4.54 an hour. If porters are already fairly paid by the hour, why do they need tips?

Read more about ship crew salaries.

Are porters adding value?

Porters do save you from dragging your bags into the terminal. But the interaction is brief, and the service often feels small compared to the expectation of a tip. With tipping fatigue as real as it is, plenty of passengers wonder whether this one is warranted at all.

What about the ship's crew?

The unsung heroes of cruise luggage are the crew members who get your bags to your stateroom. Their work includes:

Organizing hundreds (sometimes thousands) of pieces of luggage.
Moving bags through tight ship corridors.
Placing luggage outside every cabin.

They get no tip for any of it. Meanwhile, the porter who spent less than two minutes tagging your bags gets rewarded. And if you were counting on your daily automatic gratuities to cover the crew, those mostly offset their guaranteed wages instead of adding to them.

Should You Tip Cruise Porters?

Tipping is a personal decision. If you value dropping your bags at the curb, $1-$2 a bag acknowledges that convenience. If you think the expectation isn't earned, you can decline, or skip the porter and carry your own bags into the terminal.

Just know that tipping porters keeps an outdated custom going, one that rewards the smallest part of the job and overlooks the people doing most of the work. It's not a scam, but it's a leftover from a tipping culture that often sends the reward to the wrong person.

If you want to thank someone for your luggage, find your stateroom attendant or the crew you see delivering bags, and hand them cash directly.

vipticketreg.com: How to Redeem Odenza VIP Tickets

2025-01-03T00:00:00+00:00

To redeem an Odenza VIP Ticket Program certificate, you register it at vipticketreg.com with a $50 refundable deposit, get an access code, choose two tickets on vipticketpro.com at least 72 hours before the event, and pay a $20 shipping fee. After the event, you ask for your deposit back. I did exactly that in 2025 and paid $20 net for two orchestra seats worth about $270. Here's every step, with screenshots.

What is the Odenza VIP Ticket Program?

The Odenza VIP Ticket Program, also called VIP Ticket Pro, is a common "free" gift for attending a timeshare presentation. The certificate promises two tickets to one event of your choice in the U.S. or Canada, including:

Major sports (NHL, NFL, MLB, NBA, NCAA, PGA)
Broadway shows and musicals
Concerts
Theme parks, and more

I got my certificate at a Capital Vacations timeshare presentation in Pigeon Forge, bundled with a $300 AmEx gift card and an Air, Sea, and Land travel certificate (which was much less impressive).

At a glance

	Odenza VIP Ticket Pro certificate
Where I got it	Capital Vacations presentation, Pigeon Forge, November 2024
What it covers	One set of two tickets to a sports, concert, Broadway, or theme park event
Registration deposit	$50, refundable on request after the event
Shipping and handling	$20 when you request tickets
Key rules	Holder 21+; one per household per 12 months; request at least 72 hours ahead
What I picked	Two orchestra-center seats, Shucked, Fox Theatre Atlanta, May 24, 2025
Ticket value	About $270 ($135 each)
Upfront cost	$70 ($50 deposit + $20 shipping)
Net cost	$20 after the deposit refund
Delivery	Ticketmaster mobile transfer

What to know before redeeming

Your "Promotional Event Ticket Offer" email includes the redemption instructions and terms. The certificate itself notes that terms are designed for each promotion, so check yours. On mine, the key points were:

Deposit: a $50 refundable deposit (Visa or Mastercard) to register. It's returned if you don't request any tickets, or on request after the event.
Shipping and handling: $20 when you finalize your ticket request.
Age: the primary certificate holder must be at least 21, with a valid driver's license and a major credit card.
Frequency: only one promotional offer per household in a 12-month period.
Advance notice: tickets must be requested at least 72 hours before the event.
Expiry: registrations aren't accepted within 30 days of the program's expiration date, and tickets must be requested before the expiry date on your certificate.
Final sale: once tickets are confirmed, they're non-refundable and can't be changed.

Step-by-step redemption process

1. Receive your certificate

When the email arrives, read the instructions and terms carefully.

2. Register at vipticketreg.com

Use the link in the email to register your certificate online.

3. Pay the $50 deposit

You pay the refundable deposit during registration. The payment confirmation also links to this Vimeo video.

4. Receive your access code

After registering, you'll get an email with your access code and instructions for browsing events.

If you don't receive it, contact customer_relations@odenza.com. They fixed my issue by email within 1 day.

5. Log in at vipticketpro.com

6. Choose your event or theme park

Pick the event you want. There were also 18 theme parks available for "free," including Disney World, Universal Studios, Six Flags, Knott's Berry Farm, SeaWorld, and Busch Gardens.

In the event tickets category, only tickets priced under roughly $150 were available for free when I looked. If nothing free fits, you can pay an upgrade fee for higher-priced tickets.

I chose two orchestra-center seats in row T for Shucked at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta on May 24, 2025.

7. Pay the $20 shipping fee (and any upgrades)

Finalize your selection by paying the shipping fee and any optional upgrade.

8. Get the confirmation email

Odenza confirms your ticket request and tells you when to expect the tickets.

9. Accept the ticket transfer

Depending on the event, tickets are electronic or mailed. Electronic tickets may arrive right away or close to the event; Odenza's FAQ says 24 to 48 hours before, to prevent reselling. Mine came as a Ticketmaster transfer.

10. Enjoy your event

Use your tickets and enjoy a show at a fraction of the cost.

11. Request your deposit refund

After the event, email your certificate number, the last 4 digits of the card you paid with, and its expiration date to one of these addresses: refunds@odenza.com, viptickethelp@odenza.com, customer_relations@odenza.com. Odenza's FAQ also says you can call customer service at 1-866-339-6006 after redeeming. My $50 came back as a credit on my card.

Pro tips

Plan ahead. Browse events early; more tickets are available the earlier you look.
Consider an upgrade if the free tickets don't match what you want.
Read your certificate's terms. Fees and conditions vary by promotion.
Remember to claim your refund. It's the last step, and probably the one they hope you forget.

Was it worth it?

A million percent. If you're willing to jump through the hoops, the Odenza VIP Ticket Program is a fantastic deal. I paid $20 net for tickets worth about $270, based on comparable seats on resale marketplaces. That's a 93% savings.

Odenza also runs the cruise and resort vouchers I received at my Capital Vacations presentation at Silver Lake in Orlando. If you're weighing whether a timeshare presentation is worth it for the gifts, my Westgate and Hilton Grand Vacations reviews break down what I paid and got at each.

How to Win Crazy Quest on Royal Caribbean (Item List)

2025-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

To win Crazy Quest on Royal Caribbean: sit in the biggest seating section, bring the common scavenger hunt items with you, and be the loudest team in the room. The audience is split into six teams that earn points by racing items to the host, out-dancing each other, doing ridiculous physical challenges and dressing up a "Manliest Man" as a beauty queen.

It's one of the wildest events on the ship. Here's how it works, the full list of items that can be requested, and how to give your team an edge.

Crazy Quest Basics

Host: The Cruise Director.
Location: Usually Studio B (the ice rink). Check your Cruise Compass for the exact time and place.
Teams: Six. The left, center and right seating sections are each split in half.
Captains: Each team picks two captains, one man and one woman, to lead and run items to the host.

Seating tip: Sit in the largest section to give your team more people (and more stuff). Don't sit near the front unless you want to be pulled into the action.

Pro Tips for Winning

Come prepared. Bring common scavenger hunt items (list below) and get your team ready to participate.
Go big. Enthusiasm wins. Whether it's dancing or dressing up your Manliest Man, commit to the silliness.
Get loud. Bonus points often go to the loudest, most energetic team. Cheer like your victory depends on it, because it probably does.

The Challenges

Crazy Quest has three main challenge types, plus a finale.

1. Quest for items (the scavenger hunt)

The host calls out an item and your captains race to deliver it within a time limit. Each completed quest earns points.

Items you can bring in advance:

Baseball cap
Foreign currency bills (5 types)
Toothpicks
Lipstick
Cruise Compass
Shoelaces, not in shoes (2 pairs)
Dentures
The LARGEST bra
Birth control (3 types)
Bar bill or receipt
Men's belts (up to 5)
Men's shirts (up to 5)
Men's pants (up to 5)
Women's bras (up to 5)
Women's shoes or heels

Spontaneous requests and group activities:

A woman wearing men's shoes
A selfie of the entire team with a set of dentures
Someone with an appendix scar
3 men wearing pants inside out and backwards
4 women flapping like chickens
6 people "rowing" a canoe
4 people barking like dogs
4 men dancing in a circle

Be bold:

The man with the hairiest back
3 people in thongs
3 women with something fake below the neck
3 women with a piercing below the neck
3 women with a hidden tattoo
3 men in only boxers

2. Team dance-off

The DJ plays a short track and the whole team hits the dance floor. Bonus points go to the team that cheers loudest when the music cuts off. Don't be shy; this one is all energy.

3. Physical challenges

These are guaranteed to get the crowd roaring. Recent examples:

Dirty Dancing: The youngest and oldest men on your team perform their own rendition of the iconic "Dirty Dancing" routine, broadcast on the big screen.
Totem Cowboy Hotdog: Team captains race to form specific "totem" poses as the host calls them out. The last pair to get into position is eliminated, and the final pair standing earns the point.

Finale: the Manliest Man contest

This crowns the event:

Each team sends its "Manliest Man" to the floor.
Each man struts, flexes and growls on stage.
The twist: Each team gets 90 seconds to dress him up as a beauty queen with bras, women's shoes, lipstick, hats and accessories.
Each queen introduces themselves and shows off their best dance moves.
All six queens parade around the stage for audience cheers.

Prizes and the Afterparty

After the points are tallied, the winning captains get small branded prizes, such as Royal Caribbean keychains. You're really playing for bragging rights.

The fun doesn't stop there: Crazy Quest often rolls straight into Club Red, where everyone's invited to dance the night away.

Crazy Quest is less a game than a spectacle of teamwork and zero inhibitions. Gather your team, bring your bag of random items, and get ready for a ridiculous night. For something smaller and faster, see my guide to winning 60 Seconds or Less.

How to Win 60 Seconds or Less on Royal Caribbean

2025-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

"60 Seconds or Less" is a quick-fire game on Royal Caribbean where four contestants per round race through a 60-second challenge. At the game I attended, there were three challenges, and the winning scores were 32 jellybeans, 18 seconds for cup stacking and 26 seconds for balloon cup blowing. Everyone who plays gets a prize, so it's worth volunteering.

Here's how it works and how to beat those scores.

How 60 Seconds or Less Works

Three challenges, each its own round.
Four contestants per round, competing head-to-head.
60 seconds to finish the task. Best time or best score wins.
Everyone gets a prize. Lose and you still walk away with a consolation prize.

The Challenges, Winning Scores and How to Win

Challenge	Task	Winning score in our game
Jellybeans and chopsticks	Move one color of jellybean into a cup	32 beans
Cup stacking	Stack 15 cups into a pyramid, then unstack	18 seconds
Balloon cup blowing	Blow 13 cups off the table with a balloon	26 seconds

Sorting jellybeans with chopsticks

Task: Transfer as many jellybeans of your chosen color as you can into a cup, using only chopsticks.
Tip: Pick the color that's most common in the bag. Wrong colors don't cost you anything, so if jellybeans are stuck together, don't waste time separating them.
Score to beat: 32 beans was the high score in our game.

Cup stacking and unstacking

Task: Stack 15 plastic cups into a pyramid (triangle), then unstack them.
Tip: Stay calm and move steadily. Knocking cups off the table costs precious seconds.
Time to beat: A blazing 18 seconds.

Balloon cup blowing

Task: Use a balloon to blow 13 plastic cups off the table within 60 seconds.
Tip: Blow the balloon up all the way and aim the airflow to knock off several cups at once. Don't go one cup at a time; our winner knocked off 6 cups in a single blow.
Time to beat: 26 seconds.

What Are the Prizes?

Win or lose, you don't leave empty-handed:

Consolation prize: A Royal Caribbean keychain.
Winner's prize: A compact bag-in-a-bag travel tote, a polyester tote that folds into its own small pouch. Handy for a port day or light packing.

Where and When to Find 60 Seconds or Less

Check your Cruise Compass. It's usually held in the Star Lounge, Spotlight Karaoke or the Centrum. Get there early to grab a contestant spot, or at least a good seat to cheer.

If you like this kind of thing, the bigger, louder version is Crazy Quest. Here's my winner's guide to Crazy Quest, including the items to bring.

Why FlowRider Mixed Wave Sessions Waste Everyone's Time

2024-12-31T00:00:00+00:00

FlowRider "Mixed Wave" sessions on Royal Caribbean are a lose-lose. Removing the lane divider so bodyboarders and stand-up surfers can share the wave doubles the bodyboard line and leaves stand-up riders with about one turn an hour in a typical line. It's marketed as a compromise, but in practice it's a logistical mess that makes the FlowRider worse for everyone.

Why Mixed Wave Is a Lose-Lose

It cuts bodyboarding throughput in half

During dedicated bodyboard sessions, the FlowRider is split into two lanes with a barrier, so two people ride at the same time. That doubles throughput and keeps the line moving.

In Mixed Wave, the barrier comes out to make room for stand-up riders, so bodyboarders go one at a time. Everyone's wait instantly doubles. And most bodyboarders are kids who don't need the full wave anyway; bodyboarding isn't a precision sport where the extra width matters.

Stand-up riders barely get any wave time

Stand-up surfers get hit just as hard. In a typical Mixed Wave session, throughput is a painfully low 20 riders per hour in perfect conditions:

Per rider	Time
Riding, including falls and recovery	about 2 minutes
Staff instruction	about 30 seconds
Transition between riders	about 30 seconds
Total	about 3 minutes

Then add delays for people who forgot to take off their jewelry or just aren't ready. In a line of 15 people, you might get one turn an hour.

That's a terrible use of time, especially since advanced stand-up sessions only get 1-2 hours a day, while Mixed Wave and bodyboarding each take 3-4 hours. With these wait times, Mixed Wave isn't worth it for experienced stand-up riders at all.

Here's a real day's FlowRider schedule from the Cruise Compass:

Session	Time	Hours
Mixed Wave	9:00 AM - noon and 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM	4
Boogie Boarding	1:30 PM - 5:00 PM	3.5
Advanced Surfing	6:00 PM - 7:00 PM	1

Who Mixed Wave actually serves

Only two small groups benefit:

Bodyboarders who want the full wave. This is a tiny, selfish minority. Most bodyboarders are perfectly happy (and much faster) with the divided setup.
New stand-up riders trying to qualify for the advanced stand-up session. This is the one semi-valid use case, but it doesn't require Mixed Wave. Allowing two qualifying attempts during the advanced session, or bringing back dedicated Self-Assist sessions, would solve it without hurting anyone else.

What Royal Caribbean Should Do Instead

Drop Mixed Wave sessions entirely:

Bring back Self-Assist sessions so new stand-up riders can qualify without cutting into bodyboarding or experienced stand-up time.
Let riders qualify during advanced sessions. Two quick attempts wouldn't slow down experienced riders, and it would remove the only real reason for Mixed Wave.
Stick to dedicated sessions. Take the 4 hours that would have been Mixed Wave and turn them into 2 more hours of bodyboarding and 2 more hours of advanced stand-up.

Mixed Wave Is a Waste of Everyone's Time

Mixed Wave tries to please everyone and satisfies no one. It creates much longer lines, cuts wave time, and makes the FlowRider worse for both bodyboarders and stand-up surfers. Royal Caribbean could fix it with a simple schedule change: dedicated sessions for each group.

If you're getting into stand-up riding and thinking about your own board, start with my flowboard buying guide for beginners.

Want to see Mixed Wave removed? Let Royal Caribbean know in your post-cruise survey.

How to Change TV Input on Royal Caribbean TVs (No Remote)

2024-12-30T00:00:00+00:00

You can switch the stateroom TV on a Royal Caribbean ship to HDMI without a remote. Plug in your streaming device, then use the small power button under the screen: press once to open the menu, short-press to move to Source, and press and hold to select it. The TV jumps straight to your device.

I tested this on the Samsung HG50AU800NF aboard Utopia of the Seas, but many newer or recently renovated ships, such as Harmony, Allure, Icon and Wonder, use the same or similar models.

Step by Step: Switch the TV to HDMI

1. Plug in your streaming device

Plug your Fire TV Stick (or other streaming device) into the TV's HDMI port.
Power it from the TV's USB port so you don't need a spare outlet.

The HDMI and USB ports are conveniently on the back panel of the TV.

2. Find the TV's power button

There's a small power button beneath the screen, usually in the center near the bottom edge. It doubles as the control for navigating the TV's menu.

Press the power button once to open the control menu.
Short-press to cycle through the options (channel, volume and so on).

4. Select Source

When Source is highlighted, press and hold the power button to select it. The TV switches to the input selection screen.

5. Let the TV pick your device

You don't need to do anything else. The TV automatically selects the only available source, which is your HDMI device.

Why This Works

The Samsung TVs on Royal Caribbean ships don't come with a traditional remote that can change inputs, and their default setup keeps guests away from the usual input controls. The physical power button is the workaround: it still gives you access to the menu, including Source.

Tips for Watching Your Own Content at Sea

Bring an HDMI cable if you're connecting a laptop or a device that doesn't plug straight into the TV.
Download before you board. Ship Wi-Fi is slow or expensive, so preload shows and movies.
Pack a universal remote that supports Samsung TVs if you'd rather not use the button every time.
Share one Wi-Fi package across devices. Here's how to connect all your devices to the cruise Wi-Fi while paying for only one. And if you only need to text, iMessage often works on cruise ship Wi-Fi without a package.

Royal Caribbean Gratuities Offset Crew Pay, Not Add to It

2024-12-29T00:00:00+00:00

Royal Caribbean's automatic gratuities are $18.50 per person, per day for most staterooms and $21.00 in suites, per its official gratuity policy as of September 2026. But that money doesn't land on top of crew pay. Leaked pay documents show gratuities are subtracted from what Royal Caribbean owes its crew in guaranteed wages, so in practice your daily gratuity pays part of the company's payroll.

Prepaid gratuities and automatic gratuities are the same thing at the same price. The only difference is whether you pay before the cruise or get charged daily onboard.

How Much Are Royal Caribbean Gratuities in 2026?

Charge	Rate (as of September 2026)
Standard staterooms (including Junior Suites)	$18.50 per guest, per day
Suites	$21.00 per guest, per day
Drinks, beverage packages, specialty dining, room service, minibar	18% added to the purchase
Spa and salon	20% added to the purchase

The daily rates went up on November 1, 2024, from $18.00 ($20.50 in suites). An older Royal Caribbean card, shown at the bottom of this post, lists $16.00. For a family of four on a 7-night cruise, $18.50 a day comes to $518.

Where Do Automatic Gratuities Go?

Royal Caribbean's policy used to say gratuities "are distributed to crew members." The current wording is more honest: gratuities are "pooled and applied toward the compensation of onboard crew members."

Applied toward the compensation is the key phrase. Crew have a guaranteed monthly salary, and gratuities count toward it. Here's what that looks like on a real pay document:

This is a bar server's January 2024 guaranteed salary calculation from Spectrum of the Seas. The guarantee for the 20 days worked was $966.00. The gratuities recorded for that crew member ($260.98) were subtracted, and Royal Caribbean paid the remaining $705.02. In February, the same server's gratuities were $1,286.95 against a $1,449 guarantee, so the company paid just $162.05.

A 2023 Royal Caribbean offer letter spells it out: the monthly guarantee "may be inclusive of gratuities received from guests for tipping positions."

So instead of boosting crew income, the gratuities you pay mostly reduce what Royal Caribbean has to pay. They only become extra money for a crew member once they exceed the guarantee. See more leaked pay documents and the 70-hour weeks those wages cover.

Why Automatic Gratuities Are Worse Than You Think

Cruise lines frame these charges as a hassle-free way to show appreciation. In my view, it's a cash grab dressed up as generosity:

They're automatic. They're added by default, banking on most passengers never questioning them.
They're big. At $18.50 to $21 per person per day, they add up faster than most Western tipping norms.
They're misleading. The marketing suggests they go straight to the crew on top of pay. The pay documents show they mostly offset wages the company already owes.

How to Make Sure Your Tip Reaches the Crew

If you want to actually help the people who make your vacation great:

Remove or adjust automatic gratuities. Royal Caribbean's policy says gratuities "may be modified" at the guest's sole discretion by visiting Guest Services any time before the morning of disembarkation. You have to go to the desk in person, but they won't object to the request.
Tip in cash. Hand cash directly to the crew members who gave you great service. It's the only tip that's guaranteed to be extra income.
Name them in your post-cruise survey. Crew members mentioned by name can earn:
- A full day off
- A VIC ("Very Important Crew") scratch card with prizes like free internet, free room service, a day off, crew store discounts or cash
- A guest experience such as a specialty restaurant dinner or a stay in a guest cabin for a cruise
- An Employee of the Month nomination, which comes with a large cash prize if they win

(Source: a crew member on r/royalcaribbean)

Crew on other lines say the same thing about cash. Here's a Princess Cruises crew member answering whether they prefer cash or prepaid gratuities:

The same logic applies at the terminal, where the person who gets the tip isn't the one who delivers your bags: should you tip cruise porters?

Stop Letting Them Exploit You

Automatic gratuities don't reward hardworking crew on top of their wages; they subsidize the cruise line's payroll. By adjusting them, tipping in cash and spreading the word, you can make sure your generosity actually reaches the people who earned it.

U-Haul vs Home Depot Truck Rental: Cost Calculator

2024-12-24T00:00:00+00:00

Home Depot is cheaper than U-Haul when you can get the truck back quickly, because Home Depot charges by time while U-Haul charges a daily rate plus mileage. Enter your mileage and rates below and the calculator tells you the break-even time: return the Home Depot truck before then and you've beaten U-Haul's price.

For example, with the default numbers (50 miles at $0.79 a mile plus $19.95), U-Haul costs $59.45. A Home Depot flatbed at $19 for the first 75 minutes plus $7.25 per 15 minutes reaches $55.25 at 2 hours 30 minutes, so if you'll be done in under 2.5 hours, Home Depot wins.

Truck Rental Cost and Break-Even Calculator

This calculator assumes you already know which size truck you need and how far you'll drive. It shows how long you could keep a Home Depot truck for the same money you'd spend at U-Haul.

Preset Options:

U-Haul Fees

Driving Distance in Miles (See Notes): Cost per Mile: (Usually $0.79-$1.09/mile) Cost per Day: (Usually $19.95 or $29.95)

Home Depot Fees

Cost for First 75 min: (Usually $19 or $29) Cost per 15 min: (See below for rate table) Cost per Day: (Usually $129 or $149)

Assumptions and Notes

- Driving Distance should be calculated: (only U-Haul charges mileage fees)

UHaul Address → Loading Address → Unloading Address → UHaul Address

- Fuel costs are omitted because they will be similar for both U-Haul and Home Depot.

- Taxes are omitted because the tax rate is the same regardless of the rental option chosen.

- Refundable deposits are omitted because... they're refundable.

- Home Depot's rentals are only available in 15-minute increments.

- If you need a truck larger than 12ft, Home Depot's in-store rentals are not an option, as the biggest it offers is a 12ft box truck. U-Haul rents 10ft, 15ft, 20ft and 26ft trucks.

To report an issue, please contact us!

Home Depot vs U-Haul Truck Rental Rates

These are the rates behind the calculator's presets. The Home Depot numbers come from the rate sheet posted at my local store when I wrote this in December 2024 (photo at the bottom of this page), and the U-Haul numbers are typical in-town quotes.

	U-Haul (in-town)	Home Depot
How you pay	Daily rate + per-mile fee	Time only, no mileage fee
Small vehicles	Pickup, cargo van or 10ft truck: $19.95/day + mileage	Flatbed: $19 first 75 min, then $7.25 per 15 min, max $129/day
		Van: $19 first 75 min, then $8.25 per 15 min, max $139/day
Larger box truck	15ft: $29.95/day + mileage	12ft box: $29 first 75 min, then $7.50 per 15 min, max $149/day
Per-mile fee	Usually $0.79-$1.09/mile	None
Biggest truck	26ft	12ft

As of September 2026, U-Haul still advertises cargo vans and pickup trucks from $19.95 plus mileage, but it doesn't publish a single per-mile rate. Mileage varies by location, truck and date, so plug in the number from your own quote. Home Depot's prices also vary by store, so check the rate sheet at the rental counter and update the calculator's fields to match.

Moving Tips That Save Money

Protect your furniture. If you're comparing trucks, you're probably moving furniture. Protect it with some cheap covers.
Own your moving blankets. U-Haul charges to rent moving blankets, but you can buy your own once and reuse them.
Bring straps. Neither U-Haul nor Home Depot provides ratchet straps and tie-downs, and you'll absolutely want them.
Consider buying a dolly. Renting one can cost $7-$15 per day. Buying one for about $30 might be cheaper if you'll use it again.
Stock up on tape. Nothing derails moving day faster than running out of tape.

Don't forget all your moving supplies! Check out these deals on Amazon.

Moving out of a rental? Make sure you get your deposit back. Here's how I sued my landlord for my security deposit and won.

Sample Home Depot Truck Rental Rate Sheet

Hilton Grand Vacations Timeshare Presentation in Orlando

2024-12-13T00:00:00+00:00

A Hilton Grand Vacations (HGV) timeshare presentation got me 3 nights at Hilton Grand Vacations Club Tuscany Village Orlando for $223.88 in August 2024, plus 25,000 Hilton Honors points (worth about $150) after the tour. That puts the effective cost at about $75, against a normal price of $557.72. The catch: it was the pushiest presentation I've been to, and that was partly my fault.

After my first presentation with Westgate Resorts, I went looking for more and found that Hilton publishes its preview offers right on its website. I've since done two with Capital Vacations too (Pigeon Forge and Silver Lake in Orlando); there's a side-by-side comparison at the bottom of this post.

At a glance

	Hilton Grand Vacations, Orlando
Stay	August 15-18, 2024 (3 nights), Tuscany Village
Tour	August 16, 2024, 9:00 AM, HGV sales center at Parc Soleil
Package price	$223.88 (booked March 22, 2024)
Paid at check-in	$0 (no taxes, no resort fees)
Gift	25,000 Hilton Honors points (about $150)
Effective cost	About $75 for 3 nights
Normal price	$557.72 for a comparable 3-night stay (about 87% off)
Room	Studio: king bed, mini fridge, microwave, no full kitchen
Presentation length	About 2 hours promised; ours ran over
Sales pressure	Highest of my four: salesperson, manager, then a "corporate" sampler pitch

The package and what it normally costs

Our package was a 4-day, 3-night stay at a Hilton area hotel or HGV Club resort, plus 25,000 Hilton Honors points after attending the presentation. We were booked at Tuscany Village, near Disney World, for August 15-18, 2024. The total was $223.88, paid up front, and no taxes or resort fees were due at check-in. The checkout folio showed a $0.00 balance.

For comparison, I priced the same Studio 1 King for comparable dates a year later (August 14-17, 2025) on Hilton's site: $557.72, including a $25 nightly resort charge and 12.5% tax.

The current HGV Orlando offer (September 2026)

As of September 2026, HGV's offers page lists 3 nights in Orlando for $249 plus 15,000 Hilton Honors points (awarded after the presentation), with up to 12 months to travel. That's $25 more and 10,000 fewer points than the deal I got in 2024, so the math is a little less generous now. Offers change often, so check before you book.

Who qualifies for an HGV preview (as of September 2026)

From HGV's Details of Participation (updated March 2, 2026):

Income and credit: you must meet requirements for combined gross annual income and credit. HGV doesn't publish the numbers. If you're married or living together, at least one of you must meet the credit requirements.
Couples: if married or living together, both must attend the presentation together.
Bring: a current government-issued ID and a personal major credit card.
How often: not eligible if you've attended an HGV sales presentation within the last year, or have another open package that requires one.
Other exclusions: bankruptcy within the past 7 years, HGV and Hilton employees and their families, and groups of more than one household traveling together. One offer per household.
Penalty: if you don't qualify or don't attend, your card is charged the full retail value of the vacation, plus taxes and the value of any gifts.

The room

The room was basic but clean, modern, and well-maintained, with a king bed, a mini fridge, and a microwave, which was perfect for quick meals. There's no full kitchen, but that wasn't an issue for a short stay. Tuscany Village also has a huge pool, where we spent several relaxing hours.

The tour and presentation

The required tour was on August 16, 2024, at 9:00 AM. It wasn't at Tuscany Village but at the Hilton Grand Vacations sales center at the Parc Soleil resort, about 1.5 miles away. We had to drive there, but it wasn't a major inconvenience.

Breakfast was very basic: beverages, packaged muffins, and a small selection of snacks. I grabbed about 10 snack bags of white cheddar Cheez-Its for later, but overall the offerings were underwhelming.

The presentation started on time and was initially pleasant. The pitch was persistent but not too high-pressure. Then we made two key mistakes:

We acted too interested. That encouraged our salesman to push harder as we approached the end.
We didn't act when our alarm went off. We'd set it for the promised two-hour mark, but instead of politely ending the pitch, we let the conversation drag on.

When we finally declined, our salesman became visibly irritated and stormed off to fetch his manager, the "closer." After we rejected the closer's offer, the "guy from corporate" appeared with a last-ditch pitch for a sampler package, a short-term timeshare trial for a few thousand dollars. We politely declined that too.

The gift and final cost

At the end of the tour we received our 25,000 Hilton Honors points, worth about $150 by my estimate, and no other gifts besides my stash of Cheez-Its. Factoring in the points, the effective cost of our stay was about $75, roughly 87% off the $557.72 normal price.

Tips for a smooth HGV presentation

Stay firm but polite. Show minimal interest to avoid escalating pressure.
Set an alarm and stick to it. Politely excuse yourself when your two hours are up.
Expect multiple pitches. A closer and a corporate rep will each bring an alternative offer.

Despite the pushy ending, the experience was worthwhile. The savings were substantial, and Tuscany Village was a great place to relax in Orlando. If you're prepared to handle a timeshare pitch, an HGV preview can offer real value.

How it compares to my other timeshare presentations

Presentation	When	Net cost after gifts	Length (required / actual)	Sales pressure
Westgate Lakes, Orlando	Apr 2024	$95.13 for 3 nights	90 min / 2.5-3 hrs	Moderate
Hilton Grand Vacations, Orlando (this post)	Aug 2024	About $75 for 3 nights, counting points	2 hrs / over 2 hrs	Highest
Capital Vacations, Pigeon Forge	Nov 2024	$200.09 for 3 nights, plus travel vouchers	Left at 90 min / about 105 min on site	Lowest
Capital Vacations, Silver Lake Orlando	Jan 2026	$12.61 for 3 nights	2 hrs / about 2.5 hrs	Low

For the full side-by-side, including who qualifies and what happens if you don't, see Timeshare presentations compared: what 4 actually cost me.

Westgate Lakes Timeshare Presentation: 3 Nights for $95

2024-12-12T00:00:00+00:00

A Westgate timeshare presentation got me 3 nights at Westgate Lakes Resort & Spa in Orlando for $95.13 net in April 2024. I paid $145.13 for the package, owed nothing at check-in, and picked up a $50 gift card after the tour. The catch: the "90-minute" presentation took me about 2.5 to 3 hours. Here's the full breakdown, plus what I'd do differently.

This is one of four timeshare presentations I've sat through. The others were Hilton Grand Vacations in Orlando, Capital Vacations in Pigeon Forge, and Capital Vacations at Silver Lake in Orlando. There's a side-by-side comparison at the bottom of this post.

At a glance

	Westgate Lakes, Orlando
Stay	April 11-14, 2024 (3 nights)
Tour	April 12, 2024, 11:00 AM, Westgate Preview Center
How I found it	Instagram ad: 3 nights in Orlando for $99 plus a $50 gift card
Package price	$145.13 after taxes and fees
Paid at check-in	$0 (no taxes, no resort fees)
Gift	$50 gift card
Net cost	$95.13 for 3 nights
Normal price	$725.61 for a comparable 3-night stay (about 87% off)
Room	Studio: king bed, sleeper sofa, kitchenette, jetted tub, balcony
Presentation length	90 minutes promised; mine ran 2.5 to 3 hours
Sales pressure	Moderate: salesperson, then a closer, then a "corporate" sampler pitch
Penalty for skipping or not qualifying	$500 (per my 2024 confirmation)

What I paid

I was introduced to this offer through Instagram ads boasting 3 nights in Orlando for $99, with a $50 gift card for completing the presentation. After taxes and fees, my package total was $145.13, booked on March 16, 2024.

To see what the stay is normally worth, I priced the same studio villa for comparable dates a year later (April 10-13, 2025) on Westgate's own booking site. It came to $725.61, including $158.61 in taxes and a $25.99 nightly resort fee. Since the bed was over $700 either way, I thought "why not?"

The confirmation spelled out the deal: the package price requires a 90-minute tour, and failing to attend or meet the qualifications would result in a $500 fee. Show up, and show up qualified.

Who qualifies for a Westgate preview (as of September 2026)

These are the main requirements in Westgate Reservations' current terms and conditions. Requirements vary by destination and season, so read the terms attached to your own package.

Who: U.S. citizens who are married, engaged, cohabiting, or single women, and gainfully employed. Couples must attend together.
Income and credit: verified household income of at least $50,000 ($60,000 for Las Vegas) and a FICO score of 600 or higher.
Age: for couples, one partner must be 25 to 70 and the other at least 25. Single women must be 28 to 70.
Bring: a valid driver's license or state ID, and a credit card in your own name at check-in (no prepaid cards).
How often: two tours in a lifetime. The second can be at a different resort after 6 months, or the same destination after 12 months.
Not eligible: Westgate owners, timeshare industry employees, and anyone who toured a Westgate resort in the past six months. Extra restrictions apply if you live within 60 miles of the resort.
Penalty: a surcharge of up to $500 or the rental rate (whichever is greater), plus the retail cost of any discounted attraction tickets, if you don't qualify or don't finish the presentation.

The room

Westgate assigned us to Westgate Lakes Resort & Spa Orlando, conveniently close to Disney World. We stayed in a studio with a king bed, full sleeper sofa, kitchenette (microwave and mini fridge), full bath with a glass shower stall, a jetted tub, and a private balcony. The highlight? Actually using the jetted tub. It was surprisingly nice.

The big perk: zero taxes or resort fees were due at check-in. Westgate's current resort fee policy still waives resort fees on preview-rate stays.

The preview center, presentation, and tour

The tour was at the Westgate Preview Center, a separate section on the south side of the resort that you drive to or take a shuttle to. We showed our IDs and were taken to the breakfast bar. Breakfast was disappointing: cereal, packaged muffins, danishes, eggs, sausage, and "roasted" potatoes that were far from appetizing. By the time we left they were serving lunch, chili cheese hot dogs, which were way better. I would know, because I grabbed two on the way out.

The presentation itself wasn't overly high-pressure, but it ran much longer than the promised 90 minutes. My rookie mistake was not setting an alarm, and the whole thing stretched to about 2.5 to 3 hours. Part of it was a golf cart ride to a nearby condo building, billed as the resort's quietest, to see a quaint pool and one of the condos. That portion eats up time, and once you're on the golf cart you're committed until it's over, so try to get it done early.

After we declined the initial offer, the "closer" stepped in, followed by the "guy from corporate," who offered a sampler package: a cheaper, short-term timeshare trial for a couple thousand dollars. We turned that down too.

The gift and final cost

At the end of the tour we received a $50 gift card, bringing our out-of-pocket cost from $145.13 down to $95.13 for 3 nights in Orlando. Our guest statement at checkout showed a $0.00 balance. Against the $725.61 normal price, that's about 87% off.

Westgate runs other combinations of price and gifts too. These are two Westgate Lakes offers I saw advertised: one with Treasure Cove water park tickets, one with a $100 gift card.

The resort itself

Westgate Lakes is a sprawling property with plenty of amenities. One standout is the Treasure Cove Water Park, with wave pools, waterslides, splash pads, and lazy rivers. It isn't included in your stay, though; you'll pay extra for access unless your package includes tickets.

Tips if you book a Westgate preview

Set an alarm. Stick to the 90-minute timeline by politely excusing yourself when it goes off.
Do the golf cart tour early. It can significantly extend your time commitment.
Expect multiple offers. A "closer" and a "corporate guy" will each try a different pitch. If you're not interested, stay firm.
Check the qualifications before you pay. The penalty for not qualifying is far more than the package costs.

If you're organized and can handle a few hours of sales pitches, a Westgate timeshare presentation is a great way to get a resort stay for a fraction of the price.

How it compares to my other timeshare presentations

Presentation	When	Net cost after gifts	Length (required / actual)	Sales pressure
Westgate Lakes, Orlando (this post)	Apr 2024	$95.13 for 3 nights	90 min / 2.5-3 hrs	Moderate
Hilton Grand Vacations, Orlando	Aug 2024	About $75 for 3 nights, counting points	2 hrs / over 2 hrs	Highest
Capital Vacations, Pigeon Forge	Nov 2024	$200.09 for 3 nights, plus travel vouchers	Left at 90 min / about 105 min on site	Lowest
Capital Vacations, Silver Lake Orlando	Jan 2026	$12.61 for 3 nights	2 hrs / about 2.5 hrs	Low

For the full side-by-side, including who qualifies and what happens if you don't, see Timeshare presentations compared: what 4 actually cost me.

Royal Caribbean Bartender Hours: 70-Hour Weeks (Leaked)

2024-12-11T00:00:00+00:00

Royal Caribbean bar servers work about 70 hours a week with no days off. That's not a guess: a leaked offer letter bases their pay on 303.1 hours a month, and a leaked weekly schedule from Wonder of the Seas shows 10-hour shifts every single day, from 2 PM until 2 AM.

These documents were posted on the Chinese social media platform Xiaohongshu ("Little Red Book") and give a rare look at the terms crew sign up for and passengers never see.

The Offer Letter: $1,377 a Month for a 29-Week Contract

The offer letter, dated May 2, 2023, is for a Bar Server position. The headline numbers:

Total Monthly Guarantee Pay: $1,377 (USD)
Contract length: 29 weeks
Visa costs: reimbursed
Flight to the ship: the candidate buys their own ticket

The Hours: 303.1 Hours a Month

The fine print at the bottom of the letter is the important part. It says the monthly guarantee "is for 303.1 hours worked" and that it "may be inclusive of gratuities received from guests for tipping positions."

Do the math:

Period	Hours
Per month	303.1
Per year	3,637.2
Per week	69.95
Guaranteed pay per hour	about $4.54

That's almost double a standard 40-hour week, for a guarantee that works out to about $4.54 an hour.

For context, the Maritime Labour Convention caps seafarers at 14 hours of work in any 24 hours and 72 hours in any seven days. A 70-hour week is legal, just barely.

The Daily Schedule: 2 PM to 2 AM, Seven Days a Week

A second leaked document is a weekly schedule for a bar server (BSV) at Boleros on Wonder of the Seas, for the week of May 26 to June 1, 2024, on a sailing from Port Canaveral to CocoCay, St. Thomas and St. Maarten.

On sea days, the shift looked like this:

Work block	Hours
2:00 PM - 6:00 PM	4
7:00 PM - 10:00 PM	3
11:00 PM - 2:00 AM	3
Total	10 hours

That's three shifts squeezed into a 12-hour window, with a one-hour break between each. Port days just reshuffle it: on the CocoCay day, the afternoon block moved to 9 AM to 1 PM at the island's Oasis Lagoon, and the evening shifts stayed the same. There's no day off anywhere on the sheet.

The Pay: Tips Subsidize the Base Salary

Here's the part that surprises passengers. Most people think they're tipping their bartender directly. But recorded tips, like the gratuity added to your bar tab, are first deducted from the bartender's guaranteed pay. The bartender doesn't pocket them; they subsidize their own base salary.

That's exactly what the offer letter means by a guarantee "inclusive of gratuities." Leaked 2024 pay stubs show it in action: in one month a bar server earned $1,286.95 in gratuities against a $1,449 guarantee, and Royal Caribbean paid only the $162.05 difference. The details are in Royal Caribbean Bartenders' Salary Exposed, and the same system applies to the daily automatic gratuities.

Seventy-hour weeks, no days off, and tips that mostly reduce the company's payroll. If you want your appreciation to reach the person behind the bar, tip in cash.

Royal Caribbean Bartender Salary: Leaked 2024 Pay Stubs

2024-12-10T00:00:00+00:00

A Royal Caribbean bar server's guaranteed salary in 2024 was $1,449 a month, and the gratuities guests pay through their SeaPass accounts are subtracted from that guarantee, not added to it. In February 2024, the server below earned $1,286.95 in recorded gratuities, so Royal Caribbean itself paid only $162.05 that month. Cash tips are the only money that's truly extra.

Here's the full breakdown from a real six-and-a-half-month contract, with the leaked pay documents at the bottom.

How Much a Royal Caribbean Bar Server Makes

These figures come from one bar server's 2024 contract across two ships (cash tips excluded):

Ship	Dates (2024)	Total salary	Average per month
Spectrum of the Seas	Jan 11 - Apr 27	$5,796	$1,499
Wonder of the Seas	May 1 - Jul 28	$8,110	$2,703
Whole contract (6.5 months)		$13,906	about $2,100

The jump on Wonder of the Seas, which was sailing from Port Canaveral, fits the pattern below: U.S. routes mean more drinks, more tips and more cash.

Plot Twist: Tips Are Deducted From the Guaranteed Pay

Every month, Royal Caribbean fills out a "Category C Minimum Guaranteed Salary Calculation" for the crew member. It lists every gratuity recorded for them on each voyage, adds it up, and subtracts it from the guarantee. Royal Caribbean only pays the difference.

Here's what that looked like for this bar server on Spectrum of the Seas:

Month (2024)	Guarantee	Recorded gratuities	Royal Caribbean paid
January (20 days)	$966.00	$260.98	$705.02
February	$1,449.00	$1,286.95	$162.05
March	$1,449.00	$791.10	$657.90
April (27 days)	$1,304.10	$176.04	$1,128.06

In February, guests' gratuities covered almost 89% of this crew member's guaranteed pay.

How the System Works

Guaranteed pay. Crew get a guaranteed monthly amount for their contract, no matter how slow the ship is.
Recorded tips count toward the guarantee. Gratuities that go through the system (on this form, the BVGT column, which appears to be the 18% gratuity Royal Caribbean adds to drinks and beverage packages) are deducted from the guarantee. They aren't "extra" until they exceed it.
Cash tips aren't deducted. Cash is the only direct, extra income.

Royal Caribbean doesn't hide this, exactly. A 2023 bar server offer letter says the monthly guarantee "may be inclusive of gratuities received from guests for tipping positions." More on that in Royal Caribbean Bartenders' Grueling Hours Exposed. The same logic applies to the daily automatic gratuities, which I break down in where your automatic gratuities actually go.

What This Means for Crew Members

The guarantee means stable pay on slow routes. But it also means:

Hustling for more card or package tips doesn't raise income until it beats the guarantee.
Crew depend on cash tips for real extra money.

How Cash Tips Change the Picture

On U.S. routes, cash tips are more common. Guests often leave:

$1 for a single drink
$5 or $10 for a larger order

The more drinks served, the more cash. Some bartenders skip breaks to take more orders, and working under a more lenient supervisor lets them keep more of their cash tips.

If you want your tip to actually reach the person who made your drink, hand them cash.

Living Expenses on a Cruise Ship

The big upside: crew have almost no living costs. No rent, food, utilities or commute, so it's possible to save a large share of every paycheck. Spending in port and onboard is what eats into it.

Hours and Work-Life Balance

A typical day might be serving guests at the pool or bars from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., with rest periods that depend on the supervisor. Making more money usually means giving up breaks and personal time.

For the leaked schedule showing roughly 70-hour weeks, read Royal Caribbean Bartenders' Grueling Hours Exposed.

Is Working as a Royal Caribbean Bartender Worth It?

For some people it's a way to save money while seeing the world. Others treat it as an adventure: new ports, and coworkers and guests from everywhere.

It's not for everyone. It takes long hours, physical endurance and strong customer service skills. For people willing to grind, it can pay off financially and personally.

The Leaked Pay Stubs

These are the monthly guaranteed salary calculations for this bar server (position code BSV) on Spectrum of the Seas. Each one shows gratuities being subtracted from the guarantee.

Royal Caribbean Casino Wine of Shame: How to Get It

2024-12-02T00:00:00+00:00

The "Wine of Shame" is the complimentary bottle of wine Royal Caribbean's casino sends to players who earn enough Club Royale points on a sailing. The commonly reported bar is about 1,000 points, which works out to roughly $5,000 run through the slot machines. That's why regulars call it "the most expensive cheap wine you'll ever buy."

Here's how the points work, what the bottle actually is, and where the real value in casino play is hiding.

Casino Royale vs. Club Royale

These two names get mixed up constantly, including in the first version of this post:

Casino Royale is the casino on every Royal Caribbean ship.
Club Royale is the loyalty program that tracks your play on your SeaPass card and sends you rewards and cruise offers.

How Do You Earn Club Royale Points?

You insert or tap your SeaPass card at the machine (or hand it to the dealer at a table). Per Royal Caribbean's Club Royale FAQ, as of September 2026:

Game	Points earned
Reel slots	1 point per $5 played
Video poker	1 point per $15 played
Table games	Based on game, average bet and time played (very low, e.g. about 10 points an hour at $10-$15 blackjack)

Video poker used to earn 1 point per $10. Royal Caribbean changed it to $15 when the new casino year started on April 1, 2026, which makes the wine (and everything else) a lot harder to reach for video poker players.

Points also count toward your annual tier, per the Club Royale tier FAQ:

Tier	Points in the program year (April 1 to March 31)
Choice	1 - 2,499
Prime	2,500 - 24,999
Signature	25,000 - 99,999
Masters	100,000+

Free drinks in the casino while you play are a Prime-and-up perk. If you do get them, tip your casino bar server in cash, here's why.

What Is the "Wine of Shame"?

It's the free bottle of wine the casino gives you for your play, and seasoned cruisers named it the Wine of Shame for three reasons:

The quality. These are usually low-cost bottles from the ship's inventory, the kind of thing you'd find for $8-$10 at a grocery store. Think bottom-shelf Merlot or a questionable Chardonnay.
The presentation. It's handed over with little fanfare or just shows up in your stateroom. Comically underwhelming.
The implication. It's a consolation prize and a cheeky reminder of how much you put through the machines to "earn" it.

How to Get the Free Bottle of Wine

Earn the points on one sailing. The commonly reported threshold is about 1,000 Club Royale points. At 1 point per $5 on slots, that's about $5,000 in total slot play (coin-in, not losses). Royal Caribbean doesn't publish this number, so treat it as a rule of thumb.
Check with the casino host. Once you hit it, the host can confirm the reward.
Pick it up or get it delivered. You can collect it at the casino or have it sent to your stateroom.

What People Do With It

Re-gift it to fellow cruisers or crew members.
Post it on social media for bragging rights.
Keep it as a quirky souvenir of the casino nights.

Is the Wine of Shame Worth It?

No, not on its own. If you're a casual gambler, the bottle will never justify the money it takes to qualify. For high rollers it's just one more small perk. Think of it as a funny cherry on top, not a goal.

Where the Real Value Is: Club Royale Cruise Offers

The bottle is underwhelming, but casino play isn't a total wash:

Stick to a budget. Play for entertainment, not to chase rewards.
Track your points during the cruise so you know where you stand before the last night.
Ask the casino host about free play, drinks and other perks you might qualify for.
Watch your offers. The best Club Royale rewards are future cruise offers. Once you've played enough, you'll start getting deeply discounted or even complimentary cruises, which is where casino play can actually pay off.

The Bottom Line

The Wine of Shame is a tongue-in-cheek rite of passage for Royal Caribbean casino regulars. It's not much of a reward, so if you're playing anyway, focus on the bigger perks: Club Royale cruise offers, casino drinks at Prime, and onboard credit. And if a bottle of grocery-store wine does show up at your door, enjoy it with a laugh. You're officially part of the club.

Negotiate Your Spectrum Bill: How I Got My Promo Rate Back

2024-12-01T00:00:00+00:00

When my Spectrum promotional rate expired, I got it back with one phone call. Spectrum's online chat told me there was nothing it could do, but calling and saying "Disconnect" at the voice prompts got me to the retention team, which renewed my promo and cut my bill from $77.99 to $62.99 a month. Here's exactly what I did, step by step.

In late 2024, my Spectrum bill jumped by $10, to $77.99. I'd been on a promotional rate, and it had expired. The good news: there are ways to get that discounted price back.

Online Chat Couldn't Help (But Told Me Who Could)

My first attempt was Spectrum's online chat. After several back-and-forth exchanges, I got the usual answers and went nowhere. The rep said plainly: "There isn't anything we could apply at this time."

But the same rep gave me the key piece of advice: "Call 1-800-319-4293 and state 'DISCONNECT.' This is the only way to get to our Customer Solutions team." Saying "disconnect" in the phone menu routes you to the retention team, who can offer much better deals than regular customer service.

Is 1-800-319-4293 a real Spectrum number?

It's the number Spectrum's own chat support gave me (screenshot above), and calling it took me through Spectrum's automated phone menu to the Customer Solutions team described below. I couldn't find it listed on Spectrum's website, though. If you'd rather start from a published number, call the customer service number printed on your Spectrum bill and ask for the retention or Customer Solutions team.

How to Call Spectrum and Ask for a Discount

Here's the exact phone menu I went through:

Call 1-800-319-4293. This is the number Spectrum's chat rep gave me.
"Are you calling about the account associated with this phone number?" Answer "Yes," or verify your account details.
"In a few words, tell me what you are calling about." Answer "Disconnect."
"If you'd like to completely disconnect your internet service, say 'Disconnect.'" (The other options are "Reduce Service," "I'm Moving" and "Seasonal Service Hold.") Say "Disconnect" again. Don't worry, this won't cancel your service or do anything ominous. It's the magic word that gets you to the retention team.
Provide your security code. ~~It used to be printed on your bill under your account number.~~ 2025 update: Spectrum no longer shows the security code on the monthly statement, but you can view or change it at Spectrum.net/Securitycode. If you can't access it, agents can send you a one-time code to authenticate you, so make sure your phone number is up to date on your account.
Take the callback. You'll be placed on hold, but you can press 1 for a callback instead of waiting. I was quoted 14 to 21 minutes and got a call back in about 14 minutes.
Ask for a promotional discount. When the retention agent asks why you're calling, say: "It looks like my current promotional price has expired and my bill has increased. Can you please check if there are any promotions or discounts available for my account?"

The Result: $62.99 a Month Instead of $77.99

That call renewed my promotional rate, bringing my bill back down to $62.99 a month starting with the next billing cycle. The current month's $77.99 bill still stood, but the discount applied from then on. That's $15 a month, or $180 a year, for one phone call.

Tips for Negotiating With Retention

Don't accept the first "no." Retention agents have more flexibility than standard reps. If they say no at first, politely ask whether there are any other discounts or promotions.
Be calm and polite. Be firm but kind about the fact that you're looking for a better deal.
Know what to ask for. Spectrum often has offers for existing customers: renewing your promo rate, a lower-cost plan, or an upgrade with added perks.

The next time your internet bill goes up, don't just accept it. Following these steps saved me money and even got me a free modem upgrade at no extra cost. The "disconnect" strategy works with most major internet providers, so it's worth trying with yours.

One More Way to Cut the Bill: Skip the WiFi Router Fee

Corrected September 2026: an earlier version of this section said Spectrum charges a modem rental fee. It doesn't.

As of September 2026, every Spectrum Internet plan includes a modem at no extra cost. The extra charge is for Spectrum's Advanced WiFi router: $10 a month, unless you have Internet 1 Gig or higher or bundle internet with TV or Mobile. Spectrum lets you bring your own compatible router instead. A DOCSIS 3.1 modem/router combo like this one is listed as compatible with Spectrum, Xfinity and Cox. Combos like this aren't cheap, though, so against a $10 monthly fee expect it to take a couple of years to pay for itself. If all you want is to drop the WiFi fee, any compatible router paired with Spectrum's free modem does the job.

The lesson is the same one I learned when Shoe Carnival price-matched my sneakers: a lot of discounts only exist if you ask for them.

Happy savings!

Kroger Clearance and Markdowns: How to Find the Best Deals

2024-11-30T00:00:00+00:00

Kroger's best deals are in four places: a dedicated clearance shelf tucked into a low-traffic corner, green-tag discontinued items on the regular shelves, yellow or orange "reduced" stickers, and separate reduced sections for meat, produce and bakery. Go on a weekday morning before 10am, stack the markdowns with digital coupons, and freeze what you won't use right away.

Most shoppers walk right past these deals. Here's how to find them, and the same tips usually work at other Kroger-owned stores like Ralphs, Fred Meyer and Harris Teeter.

The 4 Kinds of Kroger Clearance and Markdowns

Kroger marks down products nearing their sell-by dates, overstock, seasonal goods and discontinued lines. They fall into four categories:

The clearance shelf
Dedicated shelves or bins, usually with bright orange or yellow tags. Every Kroger puts its clearance shelf somewhere different!
Green-tag clearance items
Items heavily reduced right on their regular shelf, usually because they're being discontinued and the store wants to clear the space. Look for the GREEN price tags.
Markdowns
Reduced items that may still be on their regular shelf. Look for "manager's special" or "reduced" stickers. They're easy to miss, so keep a sharp eye out.
Reduced produce, meat and bakery
Produce: Look for bags or bins of "reduced produce," often at steep discounts, on their own dedicated shelf.
Meat: The meat department keeps a dedicated section of the cooler for cuts nearing their sell-by date. They're still safe to cook right away or freeze.
Bakery: Day-old bread and baked goods are often half off or more, all on their own dedicated shelf.

When and Where to Find Kroger Clearance

Go early on weekdays. Employees tend to mark items down early in the morning, so shopping before 10am gives you the best chance at the good stuff. Weekends bring more shoppers (meaning fewer items left to mark down), so stick to weekdays.
Check low-traffic areas. Clearance shelves are often near the back of the store, by the restrooms, or anywhere with little foot traffic. There are often entire carts of clearance parked next to the shelf, too. If you can't find it, ask an employee where your store keeps it.
Learn your store's tag colors. Bright yellow, orange or red tags signal markdowns. Get familiar with what they look like at your store and watch for them as you shop.
Use the Kroger app. Some deals show up in the app under the weekly ad and digital deals. Build your shopping list there and combine the deals with digital coupons.

How to Stack Savings on Clearance

Pair markdowns with coupons. Kroger lets you use coupons on clearance items, so combine markdowns with manufacturer or digital coupons for even bigger savings.
Earn Fuel Points. Clearance purchases still count as grocery spending, and as of 2026 Kroger gives one Fuel Point per $1 spent on groceries, redeemable for up to $35 off a fill-up.
Buy in bulk and freeze. Stock up on discounted meat or bread and freeze what you won't use right away. Clearance ground beef, chicken thighs and bread can last months in the freezer.
Plan meals around the deals. Build your weekly menu around what you find. Discounted zucchini and ground turkey? Turkey zucchini boats for dinner.

Hidden Gems in the Clearance Aisles

Specialty items: Gluten-free, organic and international foods often end up on clearance.
Non-food items: Cleaning supplies, beauty products and seasonal décor are frequently marked down after holidays.
Wine and spirits: Some stores mark down overstocked bottles, which is great news for wine lovers.

How to Avoid Clearance Pitfalls

Check dates: Many items are fine past the sell-by date, but inspect perishables closely.
Don't buy just to save: Only buy clearance items you'll actually use or can easily store. A deal isn't a deal if it goes in the trash.
Inspect packaging: Damaged packaging is common in clearance. Check for leaks, tears and dents.

Cheap isn't always a bargain, either. I learned that the hard way with a discounted Utility grade ribeye roll, and it's worth checking how much of a package is actually food, as I found when I weighed a pack of Perdue chicken wings.

What If My Kroger's Clearance Is Bad?

If your store's clearance section is sparse or poorly kept, try:

Other Kroger locations: Some stores have much better clearance sections than others, so check a few in your area.
Walmart: Look for "Rollback" and yellow-stickered clearance items.
Publix: It often marks down bakery and deli items.
Aldi: Seasonal items and overstock often get steep discounts.

The Bottom Line

Kroger's clearance, markdown and reduced sections reward shoppers who are willing to dig a little. Time your trips for weekday mornings, stack coupons, and use your freezer, and the savings add up fast. Happy bargain hunting!

Utility Grade Ribeye: Is Cheap USDA Utility Beef Worth It?

2024-11-29T00:00:00+00:00

Utility grade ribeye isn't worth it for steaks. I bought a whole roll for $7.19 a pound and it had a sulfur smell that never went away and flavors I didn't enjoy, even cooked sous vide. It's fine for cheesesteaks, stir-fry, jerky or chili, but if you want steak, pay a few dollars more for Choice.

That $7.19 a pound is what stopped me at the meat case in Metro Chef, a restaurant supply store with wholesale-level prices and no membership required. The catch, printed right on the label, was "Utility" grade, a designation I'd never seen sold as a whole cut before. The roll weighed just under 9 pounds and cost me $64.35. For science (and the promise of cheap steaks), I bought it. Spoiler: it didn't go as planned.

What Is Utility Grade Beef?

Utility is one of the lower USDA beef quality grades. It comes from older cattle and lacks the marbling of higher grades like Select, Choice or Prime. Utility beef is normally used for processed products like ground beef or canned meat, so it's rare to find it sold as whole cuts. That's what piqued my curiosity. Could this be a hidden gem for thrifty steak lovers?

Is Utility Grade Beef Safe?

Grading and safety are two different things. A USDA quality grade is a voluntary rating of eating quality (marbling and the animal's age), while inspection for wholesomeness applies to the beef no matter what grade it gets. So Utility beef in a store isn't unsafe because of its grade. It's just a lot less enjoyable to eat, as I found out.

The Ribeye Roll Experiment

When I opened the packaging at home, I was hit with an overwhelming sulfur smell. Not subtle: it hit like a freight train. I'd dealt with off-putting smells in vacuum-packed meat before, so I figured it would dissipate. I sliced the roll into 14 thinner steaks, seasoned them with salt and pepper, and left them to "air out" in the fridge. Unfortunately, the smell persisted.

Why Did It Smell Like Sulfur?

From some research, sulfur smells in beef usually come from a few causes:

Aging: Improper or extended wet aging can produce sulfurous compounds in the meat juices.
Packaging: Vacuum-sealed meat can trap gases from bacterial activity, creating off odors. Normally this fades after exposure to air. Mine didn't.
Quality of the meat: Utility beef comes from older cattle, which may contribute to off smells and flavors.

How Utility Grade Ribeye Cooked

Despite the smell, I pressed on. I vacuum-sealed the steaks in pairs for sous vide. For the first test, I cooked a pair at 128°F (medium-rare) for two hours, then seared them with a propane torch. The result? Edible, but far from enjoyable. The sulfur taste lingered faintly, along with other odd flavors that just didn't sit well with me.

Better Ways to Use Utility Grade Beef

All is not lost with Utility beef. It's just not ideal as a standalone steak. If you've already bought some, these uses hide its flaws:

Philly cheesesteaks: Slice it thin and pile on grilled onions, melted cheese and a hoagie roll. Heavy seasoning masks the odd flavors.
Carne asada: Marinate the steaks for several hours or overnight in citrus juice, garlic, cumin and chili powder, then use it for tacos, fajitas or burritos.
Beef jerky: Slice it thin and dry it with a spicy or sweet marinade. The drying and seasoning neutralize off flavors.
Stir-fry: Cut it into strips and use a strong sauce (soy sauce, garlic, ginger, sesame oil). The imperfections disappear among the vegetables and noodles.
Chili or stew: A few hours in a slow cooker or Instant Pot makes it tender and buries any off tastes under spices, beans and tomatoes.
Ground beef: If the steaks are too tough or off-flavored, grind them for burgers, tacos or meatballs.

If you're set on eating it as steak, sous vide helps with tenderness, but be prepared for the strong, distinct flavors to stick around. Any of the options above beats being stuck with 14 subpar steaks.

Lessons Learned

Quality over quantity: $7.19 a pound seemed like a steal, but the quality didn't justify it. I would much rather have paid a few dollars more for Choice.
Utility grade isn't for steaks: It belongs in processed or heavily seasoned dishes where its shortcomings are masked.
Smell is a red flag: If meat has an off smell that doesn't fade after airing out, proceed with caution. It may not be unsafe, but it may not be enjoyable either.
Experiments are still worth it: It wasn't the discovery I hoped for, but I learned a lot about USDA grades and what to avoid.

In short, no. Maybe I got a bad batch, but the overpowering sulfur smell and lackluster taste made it hard to enjoy, and at $7.19 a pound it wasn't worth the savings. If you're buying steaks, stick with Select or Choice at the very least. Sometimes paying a little extra makes all the difference.

If you want cheaper meat that's actually good, the markdown cooler is a better bet: here's how I find deals in the Kroger clearance and reduced sections. And before you trust any price per pound, see what I found when I weighed a pack of Perdue chicken wings.

Travel Routers on Cruise Ships: Share One Wi-Fi Package

2024-11-28T00:00:00+00:00

Cruise Wi-Fi is sold per device, at roughly $20 to $35 per day for each one. A family of four carrying a phone and a tablet each is looking at more than $1,100 on a 7-day sailing. The alternative most people fall back on is logging one device in and out all week, which gets old by the second sea day.

Buy one package instead and feed it into a travel router. The router logs in to the ship's portal once, then broadcasts its own network that everyone joins. One package plus a $29 router covers the whole week for roughly $170 to $260.

There is a second reason to do this even if you are sailing alone. A FireTV stick has no web browser, so it cannot fill in the ship's login page by itself and simply will not connect. Behind a travel router it never has to, because the router already did the logging in.

I run a GL.iNet Mango for this. It weighs 1.5 oz and costs about $29, which is roughly what a second device's internet package costs for a single day.

Which Router: the Cheap "Mango" or the Much More Powerful "Slate"

Any of these GL.iNet routers can log in to a cruise ship's Wi-Fi portal and rebroadcast it. The difference is how many devices they handle comfortably and how fast your own network is.

Router	Best for	Approx. price (Sept 2026)
Mango (GL-MT300N-V2)	A few phones and one streaming stick	$30
Opal (GL-SFT1200)	A small group that wants dual-band Wi-Fi	$40
Beryl (GL-MT3000)	Lots of devices, Wi-Fi 6	$99
Slate (GL-AXT1800)	Heavy streaming or working remotely, Wi-Fi 6	$120

Amazon prices move around, so treat these as ballpark figures.

What You'll Need

Portable Travel Router
Recommended options include the GL.iNet GL-MT300N-V2 ("Mango") or GL.iNet GL-SFT1200 (Opal). These are compact, reliable, and perfect for travel. I use the Mango. It is super light, only 1.5 oz, and it doesn't have extra features I don't need.
Power Source
Many travel routers are USB-powered, so you'll need a power bank if you plan to carry it around, or an outlet adapter if you're using it in your cabin.
Cruise Ship Internet Package
Purchase the package for only one device. This will be the connection for your router.

Good: GL.iNet GL-MT300N ("Mango")

Better: GL.iNet GL-MT3000 ("Beryl")

Best: GL.iNet GL-AXT1800 ("Slate")

Setup Before You Cruise

Update Firmware
Check for firmware updates to ensure your router is running smoothly and securely.
Test Your Router
Set it up at home with your regular Wi-Fi to familiarize yourself with the process. This ensures you won't run into problems during the cruise, where you won't have internet to troubleshoot.
Choose a Good (and Funny) Wi-Fi Name
I chose "Not Royal Caribbean" in case anyone gets confused lol
Pre-configure Your Devices
Connect all your smartphones, tablets, laptops, and streaming devices to your router's network so they'll connect automatically when you set it up on the ship.

Setup Once You're on the Ship

Connect to Your Router
Connect via your phone or laptop, and open your router's admin page. On GL.iNet routers it's usually "192.168.8.1".
Connect the Router to the Cruise Wi-Fi
From the router admin page, connect the router to the ship's Wi-Fi network by name.
Log in to the Cruise Wi-Fi
Log the travel router in to the ship's Wi-Fi using the credentials for your internet package. Most routers have a web portal where you can enter login details. On Royal Caribbean, it's "login.com".
Create Your Personal Wi-Fi Network
Set up the router to broadcast a private Wi-Fi network. Use a password to secure it.
Connect Your Devices
Join your smartphones, tablets, and other devices to your personal Wi-Fi network. The router will handle the rest, sharing the connection seamlessly.
Portable Mode
If you're planning to move around the ship, plug the router into a power bank and carry it in a small bag or purse. This way, your connection remains intact wherever you go.

My Personal Setup

This is my setup: the "Mango", my smallest micro-USB charging cable, a small battery bank, and a sling bag. (Honestly it's so small it could just fit in your pocket! I carry a bunch of other stuff, so a sling bag works great for me.)

Tips and Tricks

Best Placement in Your Cabin
Place the router near a window or balcony for the strongest signal from the ship's network.
Power Efficiency
Choose a power bank with at least 10,000mAh capacity to ensure your router runs all day. Remember to charge the battery every night, or bring a spare.
Streaming Content
For FireTV sticks or other media devices, pre-download your apps or content at home to save time. On Royal Caribbean you'll also need to switch the cabin TV to the HDMI input, which is trickier than it sounds: see how to change the TV input on Royal Caribbean's Samsung TVs.
Free Texting Without a Package
Before you buy anything, check whether iMessage already works. On several lines it does, for free, because of how Apple push notifications are routed. See Why iMessage Works on Cruise Ship Wi-Fi Without Paying.

Savings Breakdown

Cruise lines sell Wi-Fi per device, per day. On a February 2026 Star of the Seas sailing, Royal Caribbean charged $32.99 a day for one device on a 7-night package, or $26.99 per device per day for a 4-device bundle. Here's a family of four with two devices each on a 7-day cruise:

	At $20/day per device	At $30/day per device
8 devices, each with its own package	$1,120	$1,680
1 package + a $29 travel router	$169	$239
Savings	$951	$1,441

Multi-device bundles shave a little off the per-device price, but nowhere near enough to close that gap.

Why Use a Travel Router?

Convenience: All your devices connect automatically once the router is set up. No more re-entering credentials.
Savings: Share one package among multiple devices.
Functionality: Enables streaming on devices like FireTV sticks that can't log in directly.
Portability: Carry it around the ship for uninterrupted connectivity.

With a little preparation and a small investment in a travel router, you can stay connected on your cruise without breaking the bank, whether you're working remotely, keeping in touch with family, or streaming your favorite shows.

Is This Against Cruise Line Policy?

Yes, on the two biggest lines. Royal Caribbean and Carnival both restrict routers (details below), and sharing one package across many devices may also conflict with the internet package's terms. Other lines vary, so check the prohibited items list and package terms for your cruise line before you pack one. If you bring one anyway, use discretion when setting it up.🤫

Royal Caribbean's Travel Router Policy

In December 2024, Royal Caribbean added travel routers and networking equipment to their prohibited items list, citing concerns over cybersecurity and electronic crime. The wording has been revised twice since. While this might sound serious, enforcement of this policy appears to be more of a deterrent than a widespread crackdown.

The truth: Security screening at the terminal is generally handled by independent contractors, and their main priority is spotting clearly banned items like weapons, alcohol, or other contraband. Networking devices are not their primary focus. In practice, travel routers seem to fly under the radar, in part due to their inconspicuous nature and tiny size. That said, enforcement can vary depending on the port and situation, so there's always a small element of risk.

As originally written in December 2024, the restriction read:

Cybersecurity and deliberate electronic crime:

Satellite dishes, routers, and other networking equipment

In early 2026 it was revised to add a catch-all clause (reported by Royal Caribbean Blog in January 2026):

Cybersecurity and deliberate electronic crime equipment, including satellite dishes, routers, and other networking equipment, and any other deliberate electronic interference which would constitute criminal activity.

As of September 30, 2026, the page has been restructured again. Royal Caribbean's prohibited items page no longer mentions routers by name. Instead, under "Items Permitted Only With Review or Special Handling," it prohibits "electrical items and electronic equipment not designed for personal grooming," with a list that includes power strips, HAM radios, "cybersecurity devices, and electronic-crime equipment." The listed exceptions for that item are certified device chargers and low-power walkie-talkies.

So routers are no longer singled out, but the new catch-all is broader, not narrower: a travel router is electronic equipment that isn't for grooming. The page also says that anything not expressly listed can still be refused, and that the ship's security team has the final say. Carnival Cruise Line has a similar restriction (banning routers and "other internet-related equipment"), but anecdotal reports suggest that neither line actively hunts for travel routers at embarkation.

If you do decide to bring a travel router, discretion is your best friend. Keep it packed away without the packaging and commingled with all your other electronics. Avoid making a big deal of setting it up once onboard. Technically, there's always a chance your device could be confiscated, but in reality, the enforcement seems more bark than bite.

As always, the choice is yours, and if you do decide to take the chance, you'll likely enjoy significant savings and added convenience. Just remember: we're not responsible if you run into trouble, so proceed with caution!

Capital Vacations Timeshare Presentation: Pigeon Forge, TN

2024-11-23T00:00:00+00:00

My Capital Vacations timeshare presentation in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee was the least stressful of the four I've done. In November 2024 I paid $500.09 all in, got a $300 AmEx gift card back after the presentation, and netted $200.09 for 3 nights, plus a pile of travel and ticket vouchers. I was on site for about 105 minutes and the "no" was accepted without drama.

I found Capital Vacations at their prize wheel booth at Suwanee Fest 2024 in Georgia. This wasn't my first rodeo: I'd already done Westgate Resorts and Hilton Grand Vacations, both in Orlando. What hooked me was their Air, Sea, and Land package. There's a side-by-side comparison of all my presentations at the bottom of this post.

At a glance

	Capital Vacations, Pigeon Forge
Stay	November 21-24, 2024 (3 nights), Fairfield Inn & Suites Pigeon Forge
Presentation	Lodges at Great Smoky Mountain welcome center, Pigeon Forge
How I found it	Capital Vacations booth at Suwanee Fest 2024
Package price	$399, plus a $50 refundable deposit
Paid at check-in	$51.09 in taxes
Total paid	$500.09
Gifts	$300 AmEx gift card ($150 Topgolf, two $50 entertainment credits, $50 deposit back), Odenza event tickets, Air, Sea and Land certificate
Net cost	$200.09 for 3 nights ($149 before taxes)
Normal price	$139/night, $417 for 3 nights before taxes (64% off)
Presentation length	I left at my 90-minute timer; about 105 minutes on site
Sales pressure	Lowest of my four presentations

What I paid for my vacation

Capital Vacations' deal was $399 up front for a 4-day, 3-night hotel stay. In exchange, I had to sit through their presentation. Sweetening the pot were several promised gifts: a $150 Topgolf AmEx gift card, two $50 entertainment credits, Odenza event tickets, and the much-hyped Air, Sea, and Land travel certificate.

After some back-and-forth with their booking department, I chose Pigeon Forge, TN, which was perfect for my family. They took a refundable $50 deposit when confirming the reservation, and on arrival the Fairfield Inn & Suites by Marriott charged me $51.09 in taxes. That brought my total to $500.09 before the presentation.

Who qualifies for a Capital Vacations preview (as of September 2026)

These are from Capital Vacations' current package terms, which apply to packages after September 9, 2025. Read the terms on your own package before you buy.

Age: at least one guest must be 28 or older and not a full-time student.
Income: currently employed with a combined household income over $75,000, or fully retired, or at least one guest aged 65 or older.
Couples: spouses or cohabitants must attend the presentation together.
Bring: a government photo ID and a personal major credit card (Visa, Mastercard, Amex, or Discover). Debit and secured cards aren't accepted.
How often: you can't have toured any Capital Vacations sales destination in the preceding 6 months, or attended more than 3 in your lifetime.
Length: approximately 120 minutes, "or longer depending on your level of interest."
Travel window: travel must be completed within 12 months of buying the package.
Penalty: $600 plus a $150 administrative charge if you don't attend, don't finish, or don't qualify.

The presentation: low pressure, high convenience

When we arrived at the welcome center at the Lodges at Great Smoky Mountain, the reception area was already buzzing with about 10 other groups. Light refreshments were available: hot dogs, granola bars, and bottled water. After a brief intake, we met a friendly salesman who chatted with us about our travel habits.

The presentation was refreshingly efficient:

Group session (about 30 minutes). Engaging and well organized, with an overview of the timeshare program.
Property tour. We were shown a two-bedroom condo, a well-kept and cozy unit.
One-on-one sales pitch. Unlike the high-pressure tactics I'd faced elsewhere, this one was straightforward. Our closer presented options ranging from $10,000 to $40,000, which we politely declined.

Even the final "corporate guy" who swooped in for one last pitch was laid-back. He offered a sampler package for about $2,000, and when we declined again, he didn't push.

I set a timer for 90 minutes, and when it went off we were on our way to collect our gifts. Total time on location was about 105 minutes.

The rewards: did they deliver?

Yes. At the gift desk they combined my cash rewards into a single $300 AmEx gift card:

$150 for "Topgolf"
$50 x 2 in "entertainment credits"
$50 refund of my deposit

So I paid $500.09 and got $300 back: $200.09 net for 3 nights. Leaving out the $51.09 in taxes, that's $149 for a hotel stay that would normally have cost $139 a night, or $417 for the stay before taxes. That's a 64% discount, before counting the vouchers.

The vouchers were a mixed bag. The Odenza VIP ticket certificate was legit: I ended up paying $20 net for two orchestra seats to a Broadway touring show. The Air, Sea, and Land certificate was not good, and its fine print deserved its own post.

How it compares to my other timeshare presentations

Capital Vacations takes the crown for least stressful. I bought another Capital Vacations package right afterward, in December 2024, which became my Silver Lake Resort trip in Orlando.

Presentation	When	Net cost after gifts	Length (required / actual)	Sales pressure
Westgate Lakes, Orlando	Apr 2024	$95.13 for 3 nights	90 min / 2.5-3 hrs	Moderate
Hilton Grand Vacations, Orlando	Aug 2024	About $75 for 3 nights, counting points	2 hrs / over 2 hrs	Highest
Capital Vacations, Pigeon Forge (this post)	Nov 2024	$200.09 for 3 nights, plus travel vouchers	Left at 90 min / about 105 min on site	Lowest
Capital Vacations, Silver Lake Orlando	Jan 2026	$12.61 for 3 nights	2 hrs / about 2.5 hrs	Low

For the full side-by-side, including who qualifies and what happens if you don't, see Timeshare presentations compared: what 4 actually cost me.

Westgate covered all of the hotel costs but ran long and was slightly pushier. Hilton was the most luxurious but had the most aggressive tactics.

Would I do it again?

Absolutely. The experience was smooth, professional, and even enjoyable. My only complaint? The snack selection. If Capital Vacations upped their food game, they'd be unbeatable. The limit is how often they'll have you: under their current terms you have to wait 6 months between presentations, with a lifetime cap of 3.

If you want to save big on a vacation and can stomach a sales pitch, Capital Vacations is worth considering. Just set your timer and go in prepared.

Capital Vacations Air, Sea and Land Package: The Hidden Fees

2024-11-22T00:00:00+00:00

Capital Vacations' Air, Sea, and Land package is a travel discount certificate, not a free vacation. It's fulfilled by a separate company, Customer Service Network Group (CSNG), through gocrv.com, and every option requires you to pay government taxes, carrier, and agency fees when you book: roughly $210 for two round-trip flights, $302 to $376 for a cruise for two, and up from there for hotels and condos. Add blackout dates, a 45-day booking window, and no guaranteed dates.

I bought mine as part of a $399 package at a Capital Vacations booth at Suwanee Fest 2024 in Georgia, and received the certificate after the presentation in November 2024. Having done timeshare presentations before, I approached the booth skeptically and told them so. Without spinning the prize wheel, they offered me their "highest tier prize package": a 3-night hotel stay, VIP entertainment tickets, gift cards, and the Air, Sea, and Land certificate. Naturally, I was determined to uncover the fine print.

At a glance: what each option costs

All four options are for two adults (the condo allows up to four travelers). The figures below come from the certificate. The "realistic minimum" is the fees for two people; your refundable deposit is credited toward those fees at booking, not charged on top.

Option	What you get	Refundable deposit	Fees you pay	Realistic minimum for two	Key restrictions
Airline tickets	2 round-trip coach tickets, 48 continental U.S. states plus Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal	$150	Up to about $105 per person	About $210	Sun-Thu departures only; no travel Nov 20 to Jan 5; flight times chosen for you
Mini vacation	3 days, 2 nights at chains like Baymont, Days Inn, Ramada	$100	From $18 per night	From about $36	Sun-Wed arrivals; no major holidays or 7 days either side
Cruise	4, 5, or 7 nights, inside cabin, Carnival, Norwegian, or Royal Caribbean	$150	$151 (4-night) to $188 (7-night) per person	$302 to $376	No June-August sailings or major holidays
Resort condo	7 nights in a condo sleeping up to 4, U.S., Canada, Caribbean, Mexico	$150	From $15 per night per traveler	From about $210 (2 people) or $420 (4 people)	Limited peak availability; resort fees may be due at check-in

Correction (September 2026): an earlier version of this post called the deposit non-refundable and added it on top of the fees, which overstated the minimum costs (for example, $360 instead of about $210 for the flights). The certificate says the Save the Date deposit is refundable until travel is confirmed and is applied toward the fees at booking.

Who actually runs it

After completing the required timeshare presentation, I finally got the certificate and its terms. As expected, nothing is truly free. You choose one of four options, each with its own costs and restrictions, and all four are booked through gocrv.com, which is run by CSNG. Capital Vacations hands out the certificate, but the terms say fulfillment is "the sole and exclusive obligation of CSNG."

Your gift options

Option 1: Two round-trip airline tickets

What you get: 2 coach-class round-trip tickets within the 48 continental U.S. states, or to and from Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal. No Hawaii or Alaska.

What you pay:

$150 refundable Save the Date deposit, credited toward your fees at booking.
Government taxes, carrier, and agency fees of approximately up to $105 per person at booking.

Reality: about $210 for two tickets. That can still beat retail, but it's not the "free" trip it seems, and you get almost no say in flight times. Departures are Sunday through Thursday only, no travel from November 20 through January 5, stays must be 3 to 14 nights, and per the full terms, flights generally leave between 3 p.m. and 10 p.m. and return between 6 a.m. and 1 p.m.

Option 2: A mini vacation (3 days, 2 nights)

What you get: a hotel stay for two adults at chains like Baymont Inn, Days Inn, Howard Johnson, or Ramada, in destinations from Orlando and Las Vegas to Gatlinburg and Myrtle Beach.

What you pay:

$100 refundable Save the Date deposit, credited toward your fees.
Taxes and fees starting at $18 per night.

Reality: a minimum of about $36 for a low-tier hotel, before anything the hotel charges at check-in. Arrivals are Sunday through Wednesday only, and it's not valid on major holidays or for a full 7 days before or after one.

Option 3: A cruise (4, 5, or 7 nights)

What you get: a lower-deck inside cabin for two on Carnival, Norwegian, or Royal Caribbean, sailing to the Bahamas, Bermuda, the Caribbean, or Mexico from ports like Miami, Port Canaveral, Galveston, and Baltimore.

What you pay:

$150 refundable Save the Date deposit, credited toward your fees.
Per-person fees of about $151 (4-night), $157 (5-night), or $188 (7-night).
No peak season: June through August and major holidays are blacked out.

Reality: expect about $302 to $376 for two, plus getting to the port (the terms require arriving the day before when air is involved) and gratuities. This is the option with the most real savings, but the restrictions and the inside cabin limit its appeal.

Option 4: Resort condo stay (8 days, 7 nights)

What you get: 7 nights in a resort condo that sleeps up to 4, in the U.S., Canada, the Caribbean, or Mexico.

What you pay:

$150 refundable Save the Date deposit, credited toward your fees.
Taxes and fees starting at $15 per night per traveler.
Extra guests cost $100 per person plus fees and taxes.

Reality: a family of four pays at least $420 in fees, and the resort may charge additional fees at check-in. Availability at popular destinations is severely limited, and some popular destinations only offer upgrades to two-bedroom condos, which could cost anywhere from $600 to $6,000 and up.

The booking process: more hurdles

To redeem the certificate, you must:

Register at gocrv.com within 6 months of the issue date. Travel must then be completed within 1 year of registration.
Pick two possible start dates, a preferred and an alternate, each at least 45 days out and at least 30 days apart.
Pay the Save the Date deposit within 30 days of picking dates.
Wait for an invitation to book, then pay the remaining fees. Your preferred dates aren't guaranteed.

Once a reservation is confirmed, everything you've paid is non-refundable, and changes cost extra. If more than one certificate holder wants to travel together, there's a $350 group travel fee per certificate. Even after all that, the hotel or resort may charge additional fees at check-in.

Is it worth it? Key takeaways

Some options, like the cruise, can save real money, but the fees, blackout dates, and restrictions make these prizes much less appealing than they look. They work as discounted travel vouchers, not the free vacations they're marketed as. My rule: only buy a timeshare package if it's worth it with the voucher counted as zero. If the hotel stay and gift cards alone justify it, as they did on my Pigeon Forge trip, the certificate is a bonus. The Odenza ticket certificate from the same package, by contrast, was a genuinely good deal.

Read the fine print. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Factor in fees. The advertised prize value leaves out mandatory fees.
Expect restrictions. Blackout dates, limited availability, and inconvenient booking rules can dampen any "free" vacation.
Do your research. A little digging shows whether a deal benefits you or is mostly a sales tactic.

The next time you see an enticing prize wheel at an event, approach it with a healthy dose of skepticism. For what I actually paid and got at each timeshare presentation, see my reviews of Westgate Lakes, Hilton Grand Vacations, and Capital Vacations at Silver Lake.

Full Terms and Conditions

Full Text of the Certificate Terms

For reference, here is the complete terms and conditions text, transcribed in full from both sides of the physical certificate:

Terms and Conditions for this promotional certificate are on both the front and back this page. It is important to read and understand the terms and conditions of this promotional certificate prior to registration or payment of any fees associated to this promotional certificate.

This Promotional Certificate is Not Free, Deposits, Government Taxes, Carrier and Agency Imposed Fees are Required and to be Paid by Registered Individual who must be one of the Travelers

Registration of this promotional travel certificate: must occur within 6 months from the issue date, by the individual that received this certificate. Certificates registered outside of the registration period are subject to being voided. Only one registration per certificate number is eligible. Registration is performed online @ gocrv.com. Registration process requires the registering individual to provide their complete name and contact information, along with a valid email address and contact phone numbers. The email address provided will require opt in validation at the start of the registration process. Following a successfully completed registration, a registration confirmation email will be sent. Registration requires acknowledgement of review and understanding of terms and conditions as well as agreeing to being contacted by Customer Service Network Group, (CSNG) its vendors and servicing providers electronically, by U.S. mail or phone on matters related to this promotional certificate. The expiration of this promotional certificate is defined on the face of the certificate. Travel must be completed before the expiration date.

Travel Itinerary Selection: Following a valid registration, the authorized registered individual will select a travel itinerary at gocrv.com. Travel itinerary selection requires two (2) travel itinerary begin dates to be selected, a preferred and an alternative from the provided itinerary calendar. All dates selected must be at least 45 days in advance of the date the selection is being made. At least 30 calendar days must separate the two dates selected. Only valid travel days, dates and seasons will be offered for selection as defined on the promotional certificate. Other travel selections may be required and are based on the promotional certificate, including departure city, arrival city, and or departure cruise port. Cruise itineraries presented will be that of actual sailings. All availability will be determined at the time of booking and confirmation.

Reservation Deposit: Following a travel itinerary selection, the Reservation Save the Date Deposit is due. The Reservation Save the Date Deposit amount is defined on the promotional certificate (see Reservation Save the Date Deposit). The Reservation Save the Date Deposit must be paid and posted to the travel certificate account for the selected travel itinerary to be activated. Once the Reservation Save the Date Deposit is paid and posted, the promotional certificate account will be placed in the itinerary activated status. Reservation Save the Date Deposit must be paid within 30 days of the itinerary selection, or the itinerary selected will be inactivated requiring the registered individual to reselect a valid travel itinerary. The registered promotional certificate holder will be notified by email when this occurs. The promotional certificate account may be cancelled (see Cancellation of Certificate) at any time prior to a reservation being confirmation. At the time a proper cancellation is processed, all refundable deposits paid will be refunded in the form of a check. If the registered individual fails to comply with the Terms and Conditions of this travel certificate offer or fails to respond within a timely manner to correspondence received, they will forfeit all refundable deposits paid at the expiration date of the promotional certificate.

Reservation Confirmation: Within the defined number of days of the certificate account being placed in itinerary activated status an email communication will be sent inviting the registered promotional certificate holder to the booking facility assigned to the promotional certificate. Booking facility may be the CSNG reservation center or a web page provided by CSNG. A prompt response to the invitation offers the best opportunity to secure one of the travel dates and or itineraries selected. Only named individuals on the certificate account in the itinerary activated status have access to the reservation center, web sites and reservation specialists. Reservation center hours of operation are available online @ gocrv.com. During the reservation process, prior to confirmation, named individuals on the certificate account will be verified and charges associated to this promotional offer will be collected (see Charges section below). Failure to identify all travelers and their accurate years of age at the time of booking, may result in additional costs to the traveler at check in, which will be the responsibility of the travelers. If CSNG is unable to secure availability for the itinerary selected, alternate arrangements will be offered. Following the reservation confirmation of travel, an electronic reservation confirmation with instructions and itinerary details will be sent to the email address on the certificate account within 72 hours. Named individuals on the certificate account may need to obtain other electronic travel documents from travel partner or the travel partner's website. If airline flights are part of the travel certificate, airline schedules offered are at the discretion of CSNG who will select departure and arrival airports in cities where multiple major airline carriers operate. Flights generally depart between 3 p.m. and 10 p.m. and return between 6 a.m. and 1 p.m. Flight schedules are at the discretion of the travel provider. Commercial and charter airlines are utilized and no guarantee is made for a specific airline, route or itinerary. When cruise itineraries are included coordination of air travel is required and will require arrival the day before the sailing to ensure sufficient time for named individuals to arrive at the departure port. At least one adult over the age of 21 is required on all reservation confirmations. Travelers under the age of 21 must be accompanied in the same cruise cabin or stateroom by a parent, relative or guardian 25 years or older. Confirmed reservations are non-refundable, any changes made to a confirmed reservation will result in the traveler having to pay all costs and change fees associated to the change requested. Failure to check in at the confirmed destination on time will result in the traveler forfeiting all amounts paid. It is the responsibility of the traveler to confirm their travel itineraries with the travel vendor, airline, hotel, resort, cruise line within 72 hours prior to arrival. Charges: Travelers are responsible for government taxes, carrier and agency imposed fees which are subject to change without notice, per person fees as defined on the promotional certificate (see Government Taxes, Carrier and Agency Imposed Fees), along with charges incurred in excess of this offer, such as but not limited to: ground transportation to and from airports, hotels, and cruise port, purchased additional travel options, travel upgrades, meals other than meals and snacks on cruises and gratuities. Government taxes, carrier and agency imposed fees vary by travel provider, departure cities, destination cities, length of travel, and ports of call when cruise reservations are included. The government taxes, carrier and agency imposed fees are payable to Customer Service Network Group (CSNG) at the time of booking. Refundable deposit paid amount on file at the time of booking will be applied to the charges amount due at the time of booking. Charges in excess of any refundable paid deposit amount on file are owed by the traveler and must be paid at the time of booking using a valid credit or debit card. Amount paid, including applied refundable deposit cannot be refunded after confirmation of travel occurs. Any Refundable Reservation Save the Date Deposit balance remaining after charges, will be refunded 10 days prior to travel. Group travel fees of $350 will apply to each promotional certificate (more than 1 certificate) requesting to travel together. Each certificate holder must submit travel requests separately.

Reservation Cancellations and Changes: Cancellations or changes to confirmed reservations are subject to forfeiture of all paid fees and deposits. Any changes to a confirmed reservation are subject to additional charges. Cancellation of a confirmed reservation will result in the promotional certificate to be ineligible for future use. This promotional certificate may be cancelled without penalty or obligation prior to the expiration date or confirmation of travel (see Cancellation of Certificate). Documentation: It is the responsibility of each traveler to provide proper travel documentation, visit travel.state.gov for information relating to travel requirements. Do not depart until you have received a reservation confirmation. All travelers will be required to provide proper photo identification and valid credit card at check-in. Neither CSNG nor the distributor of this promotional certificate assumes responsibility for denial of check-in for any reason whatsoever. Restrictions: Reservations must be booked and confirmed with CSNG. This certificate has no cash value and is non-transferable or renewable. This promotional certificate is void where prohibited by law and is not valid for distributors, employees, or family members of distributors and employees. Fulfillment of this certificate is the sole and exclusive obligation of CSNG. This offer cannot be used concurrently with any other travel offer. CSNG reserves the right to offer alternative travel dates, accommodations, departure ports, and destinations.

Responsibilities: Neither CSNG nor the distributor of this offer assumes any liability or responsibility for damage, expense, or inconvenience, nor for loss, injury, death or damage to any persons or property or liability whatsoever due to delays and/or cancellations regardless of cause. CSNG assumes no responsibility for any verbal or written representation made in conjunction with this offer by any distributor and/or their agents other than those included in this offer. CSNG and the distributor of this offer are independently owned and operated. The distributor of this promotional certificate is not responsible for any obligations of CSNG, for any representations of obligations of CSNG, or for content of this promotional certificate. Customer Service Network Group: (CSNG) PO Box 24527, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33307-4527, gocrv.com 954.525.1777 for assistance, have certificate number available to expedite service. CSNG is registered with the state of Florida as a Seller of Travel, Registration No. 17213. CSNG is a licensed California Seller of Travel, Reg. No 2025280 (registration as a Seller of Travel does not constitute approval by the State of California). California law requires certain Sellers of Travel to have a trust account or bond. This business has a bond in the amount of $20,000 issued by International Securities LTD. Seller of Travel Licenses: California # 2025280; Washington # 602 005 020; Hawaii # TAR-5681.

Cancellation of Certificate: This promotional certificate may be cancelled without penalty or obligation within 30 days from the date of purchase or receipt, whichever occurs later. You may cancel this contract if accommodations or facilities are not available pursuant to a request for use as provided in this contract. If you decide to cancel, provided that confirmed reservations have not been previously made, you must notify the seller, (CSNG) in writing of your intent to cancel by returning the certificate and sending notice to: PO Box 24527, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33307-4527. NO PURCHASER SHOULD RELY UPON REPRESENTATION OTHER THAN THOSE INCLUDED IN THIS PROMOTIONAL CERTIFICATE. This certificate is for the purchase of a vacation certificate and puts all assignees on notice of the consumer's right to cancel under section 559.933, Florida Statutes.

Moldy Cheese at a Hotel Breakfast: How to Report It

2024-11-21T00:00:00+00:00

If you find moldy food at a hotel or restaurant, report it to the business first, then to the local health department. I did both after finding an entire inch of moldy cheese buried at the bottom of the shredded cheese bin at a hotel breakfast bar. Not a fleck, not a corner: an inch of solid mold, hidden under a fresh layer someone had scooped on top. The general manager personally came in to deep-clean the kitchen, and a health inspector showed up within hours.

Here's what happened, how I reported it, and how you can do the same.

What I Found at the Breakfast Bar

I was staying at a Fairfield by Marriott in Pigeon Forge, TN, enjoying the free breakfast. I'd scooped a little shredded cheese onto my plate when I noticed a tiny speck of mold. Curious, I dug a little deeper. What I uncovered was beyond disgusting: an entire section of cheese was covered in mold, and when I pulled it apart, a cloud of mold spores puffed into the air.

The photo is at the bottom of this page. WARNING, it is GROSS. You have been warned.

This wasn't a small spot. It had to have been there for at least a week. The moldy section was buried deep in the container, hidden from view. It was a classic failure of "FIFO" (First In, First Out): instead of using the older stock first, someone kept piling fresh cheese on top, leaving the old cheese at the bottom to spoil unnoticed.

And for the record, you can't just scoop around it. The USDA says shredded, sliced or crumbled cheese with mold should be thrown out entirely.

Here's what the bin looked like AFTER they changed out the cheese:

How to Report a Food Safety Problem

1. Tell the hotel or restaurant management

The first thing I did was report it to the hotel directly. I used their complaint form and described what I found and why it was a health hazard. To my surprise, the general manager responded immediately and was genuinely concerned. She said she'd handle it personally, and she did: she drove four hours to the hotel to deal with the problem, clean the kitchen and make sure everything was properly sanitized.

2. Report it to the health department

I didn't stop there. I also emailed the details to the Tennessee Department of Health and the county health department. These agencies enforce the health code in hotels and restaurants, and a complaint is how they find out about problems between routine inspections.

As of September 2026, the Tennessee Department of Health's Environmental Health program takes complaints that don't involve illness through an online form, by phone at (615) 741-7206, or by email at Geh.health@tn.gov. It has a separate survey if you think food made you sick. Davidson, Hamilton, Knox, Madison and Shelby counties run their own food programs, so complaints there go to the county health department. Outside Tennessee, search for your state or county health department's "food complaint" page.

When you report, include:

The business name and address
The date and time
Exactly what you found, and where
Photos, if you have them

3. Expect a faster response than you think

I assumed an inspection would take weeks to schedule. Instead, the health department sent an inspector within hours. The hotel passed with a 96, which is a very respectable score. Despite the mishap, it was reassuring that the hotel acted immediately and everything was cleaned up for future guests.

(Source: TN Dept. of Health inspection report)

Why Reporting Food Safety Issues Matters

Reporting can feel like a hassle, but it matters for a few reasons:

Public health: Moldy food can make people sick, especially people with allergies or weakened immune systems. Reporting it protects the next guest.
Better standards: Businesses rely on complaints to find gaps. My report got a kitchen deep-cleaned and, hopefully, a FIFO habit fixed.
It's the law: Hotels and restaurants are legally required to meet food safety and hygiene standards. Reports are how those standards get enforced.

Speaking of food that isn't what it seems, I also weighed a pack of Perdue chicken wings to see how much of the label weight was actually chicken.

WARNING: Moldy Cheese Below

I wasn't kidding earlier. Scroll past this line only if you're sure you want to see it.

Suing My Landlord for My Security Deposit (and Winning)

2024-11-20T00:00:00+00:00

My landlord ghosted me when I asked for my security deposit, so I sued him in California small claims court. I won $650. He appealed, and the new judge raised it to $1,800. When he still refused to pay, I had the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department freeze his bank account and seize the money. The check I finally received, 20 months after moving out, was for $1,893.91.

Here's the whole story, followed by the tips and the law that made it work.

Stage	What happened	Amount owed to me
Move-out (2018)	Landlord skips the move-out inspection and ignores my texts	$0
First hearing (January 2019, by phone)	Judge awards my deposit, throws out his $2,000 counterclaim	$650
His appeal (May 2019, by phone)	New trial, he still has no evidence	$1,800
Bank levy	Sheriff seizes funds plus interest and fees	$1,893.91 paid

How It Started: A $650 Room That Kept Getting Worse

Back in 2018, I had a temporary internship in California at {insert large tech company}, so I took a friend's recommendation for a room for rent. It meant living with 5 other people, but otherwise it looked fantastic: spacious common areas, multiple huge TVs, full amenities, a community rec center with a pool, and short drives to plenty of places, all for $650/month, utilities included. I contacted the landlord, whom I'll call ShittyLandlord. He seemed fine on the phone, so I sent him my security deposit to move in a month later.

When I moved in, I discovered the caveats that came with the low rent. The common areas were dusty, none of the 3 large TVs worked properly, the rec center and pool required an $80/month membership, and the "short drive" estimates only worked if you drove at twice the speed limit. Whatever. Not the end of the world at that price. I'll survive.

Then it got worse. ShittyLandlord started charging us an extra $20/month for "paper towels and public cleaning supplies." He only checked the community mailbox once a week when he was in town and refused to trust anybody with the key. In June, he decided A/C cost too much and we were using too much, so he removed the thermostat from the wall. When some of us tenants confronted him at the house (he slept there less than one day a week), I'll never forget what he said as he rushed out:

"It's legal for me to do it and I don't care since I don't have to live here."

Well sir, fuck you.

I was tilted at this obvious money grab from 6 tenants. It turns out he was right: he legally didn't need to provide air conditioning. So the next day I bought a high-BTU portable air conditioner that exhausts out the window. Holy shit, this thing was luxury. Of course I set my room to 65°F, the lowest setting.

A couple of other minor disagreements ended with ShittyLandlord texting me that it was fine if I wanted to break my lease and move out early. Perfect.

When he finally got a whiff of my A/C setup, he came to my room to complain. I replied curtly:

"It's legal for me to do it and I don't care since I don't have to pay for electricity."

He left and later sent me a text.

Yeah, OK. Unbeknownst to ShittyLandlord, I was taking his move-out offer seriously, and the whole time I'd been rallying the troops. Everyone was unhappy, so with some minor encouragement I convinced two of the other tenants (who were month-to-month) to move out at the same time as me. I submitted all three "Notices of Intent to Vacate" at once, barely a week after our last conversation. He was pissed. He'd been trying to get just me out, and now he had 3 rooms to fill instead of 1.

I asked about my legally required pre-move-out inspection. In no uncertain terms, he told me to go fuck myself because he was too busy. Hm, well, that's illegal, but OK.

The Landlord Ghosted Me About My Deposit

I found another room much closer to the office for only $100/month more. We all moved out, and I texted ShittyLandlord about my security deposit.

No response.

I texted again.

No response. OK, I see where this is going.

I spent days reading the law, compiling evidence and screenshots, and listing every rule he'd broken. The smoking gun was the statute requiring a pre-move-out inspection, a list of things to fix, and an itemized list of deductions within 21 days, or else the landlord loses the right to withhold any of the deposit. On top of that, a landlord acting in bad faith faces extra statutory damages (more on that below).

I texted again and again.

I gave him plenty of leniency and even cited the laws in my messages, so I could prove in court that I was acting in good faith and that he was ignoring laws I had made him aware of. ShittyLandlord probably thought I was a young college pushover who wouldn't follow through on legal threats. Well sir, we're going to court, because I'm petty as fuck when people try to screw me over.

Filing in Small Claims Court

I filed in small claims for $650 plus treble damages plus court costs. ShittyLandlord filed a $2,000 counterclaim for "damages to the property," claiming I caused flooding and broke the microwave. OK buddy.

In response, I gathered statements from 3 of the other tenants and built a 40-page evidence packet, complete with page numbers, a table of contents, and a description for every screenshot and photo. I made 3 copies and submitted them to the court and to ShittyLandlord.

The trial was set for November, which worked because my internship ended and I was flying home in December.

Then he started requesting postponements. First, a doctor's appointment. Granted, and the trial moved to December, still before I flew home. As the new date approached, he cited another doctor's appointment. Somehow that was granted too, and we were pushed to January. January rolls around and, surprise, guess who has another doctor's appointment on the exact day of the trial? Denied. The court was finally sick of it, because he couldn't show he'd booked the appointment before the trial date was set.

By then I was on the East Coast. ShittyLandlord figured that if I was out of state, he'd win by default because I wouldn't fly back. What he didn't know is that California courts let you appear by telephone. Haha.

First Hearing: I Won $650

On the court date I got the call, was sworn in, and was connected to the courtroom. I hadn't prepared a script, so I summarized the events and explained why I deserved my money. ShittyLandlord hadn't prepared anything either, and he rambled about things that didn't help him, like how another tenant had been terrible, so his behavior was justified. When the judge asked for evidence for his counterclaim, he had none. The judge asked a few more questions and said the decision would come in the mail.

A couple of weeks later: I'm owed $650, ShittyLandlord gets nothing. No treble damages for me. But as luck would have it, ShittyLandlord couldn't accept defeat. He appealed, it was granted, and the redo trial was scheduled for May.

The Appeal: $650 Became $1,800

This time I was 10x more prepared. Once again I was sworn in by phone, but now I had a script. I emphasized how often I'd informed ShittyLandlord of the law, how often he knowingly broke it, and how many chances I'd given him to do the right thing.

Once again he prepared nothing and rambled so much that the judge told him to get back on track multiple times. He claimed I caused water damage and he had to replace all the carpets. The judge asked for an invoice or receipt. He had none. He claimed I broke the microwave, so the judge read him the 3 witness statements that all said I didn't. He said they were all lying. Still no evidence. By then the judge clearly sounded done, said the decision would come in the mail, and ended the call.

A couple of weeks later: I'm owed $1,800 and ShittyLandlord still gets nothing. Well damn, would you look at that. His appeal didn't quite work out for him. Being who he is, he then asked for a mistrial, claiming I wasn't sworn in and that I lied in my testimony. Denied.

Collecting the Money: Writ of Execution and Bank Levy

Outside of court, ShittyLandlord offered a payment plan of $20/month, which would have taken 7.5 years, or else nothing. OK, I see how collecting is going to go.

Find the bank. I looked up the rent checks I'd written him and saw where they were cashed: Bank of America.
Get a writ of execution. I asked the court for one, which allows a bank levy. It was granted.
Send it to the sheriff. I prepared a packet for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, which served him and ordered Bank of America to freeze his account.
Wait out the objection period. After his 30 days to contest the seizure, the sheriff seized the money, plus 10% annual interest on the judgment, plus the sheriff's fees.

I finally got the glorious check in the mail, 20 months after moving out. I said I'd probably frame it. (Spoiler from the future: I did.)

Total: $1,893.91

(For everyone who told me to cash the check: I'd already deposited it with mobile check deposit.)

California Security Deposit Law: What a Landlord Must Do

These are the rules that won my case. As of September 2026, California Civil Code 1950.5 says:

Pre-move-out inspection: the landlord must tell you that you can request an inspection, no earlier than two weeks before you leave, so you get a chance to fix anything they'd deduct for.
21-day deadline: within 21 calendar days after you move out, the landlord must return the deposit or send an itemized statement of deductions.
Bad faith penalty: a landlord who keeps a deposit in bad faith can owe statutory damages of up to twice the deposit, in addition to actual damages.
Photos: since April 1, 2025, landlords must photograph the unit after you return it, and since July 1, 2025, also at the start of a new tenancy.

Small claims details, per the California Courts Self-Help Guide: filing costs $30 to $100, and individuals can sue for up to $12,500. Only the defendant can appeal, and the appeal is a new trial with a different judge, which is exactly what happened to ShittyLandlord. If you win and they don't pay, the court's collection guide walks through writs and levies.

Tips for Getting Your Deposit Back in Small Claims

Read a small claims guide. There's tons of free help out there, and the court wants the process to work. California even offers free small claims advisors who walk you through it. Know the process and what to expect.
Document everything. Keep conversations in text or email so you can screenshot them. Photograph everything, even things that seem unimportant, because the landlord may claim you damaged them.
Research the law. Know what's legal, what isn't, and the penalties for violations.
Cite the law in your evidence. Compile evidence against your landlord and name the specific laws they broke. The easier you make it for the judge to see you're right, the more likely they'll side with you.
Get witness statements. It turns he-said/she-said into a 4-vs-1 where the landlord has to call everybody a liar. Just don't rely on hearsay: have witnesses appear in person or sign and submit a declaration.
Follow procedures to the letter. The last thing you want is your evidence thrown out because you didn't send the defendant a copy at least 10 days before the court date.
Show up prepared. Remember the 7 Ps: Proper Planning and Preparation Prevent Piss Poor Performance. Judges like people who are on top of their shit, and trying to talk your way to a win is dead obvious.
Be patient. It took 20 months for my landlord to get his comeuppance, but it was worth it.

If you're fighting a different kind of business that won't do the right thing, I also wrote about reporting a food safety problem to the health department.

My original post on r/ProRevenge